Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Chops"
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
valentine signed with a row of x's
and he had to ask his father what the x's meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And called it "Autumn"
because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him
that father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in at night
And his father got mad
when he asked him to do it.

Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Innocense: A Question"
because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the year father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostle's Creed went
And he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at three A.M. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly

That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
Because that's what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
And a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen.

By Earl Reum

Luiss Garsija Montero (Luis García Montero, 1958- )

"Mūsu nakts" ("Nuestra noche") no krājuma "Atsevišķas istabas" ("Habitaciones separadas", 1994)

Man gribētos pieķerties tādam dzejolim,
kas runātu par manām naktīm, mūsu nakti,
pazīstamo seju karsto nakti
tai dzīvoklī, un labāk nejautājiet,
ko mēs katrs dzeram.

Piemēram, uzrakstīt, kā veru ciet acis
un viss turpinās, es lēni taisu vaļā
aukstas koka krāsas durvis,
tuvība sajaucas ar gaismu
un fonā skan smiekli,
un balss, kas mani kaunina
par kavēšanos mūžīgo.

Piemēram, uzrakstīt, ka tagad
šīs naktis vairs negadās bieži,
tās atgādina ziemas, kurās vienojamies
iztikt ar draudzību,
tajās ir tādas
pārejošas trīsas.
Sejas ir mainījušās, ir zinošākas
un aizvien vairāk atgādina mūsu dzīvi.

Piemēram, uzrakstīt, ka acis,
kad paiet nakts un ielās
sāp rīta gaisma,
uz visu skatās savādāk,
sāk domāt skopulīgāk,
izsakot visu gados, mēnešos, nedēļās,
dienās un stundās.

Nakts mūžīgā, tev reizēm
labāk piestāv recidīvistes vārds.

I work all day, and get half-drunk at night.
Waking at four to soundless dark, I stare.
In time the curtain-edges will grow light.
Till then I see what's really always there:
Unresting death, a whole day nearer now,
Making all thought impossible but how
And where and when I shall myself die.
Arid interrogation: yet the dread
Of dying, and being dead,
Flashes afresh to hold and horrify.

The mind blanks at the glare. Not in remorse
-- The good not done, the love not given, time
Torn off unused -- nor wretchedly because
An only life can take so long to climb
Clear of its wrong beginnings, and may never;
But at the total emptiness for ever,
The sure extinction that we travel to
And shall be lost in always. Not to be here,
Not to be anywhere,
And soon; nothing more terrible, nothing more true.

This is a special way of being afraid
No trick dispels. Religion used to try,
That vast moth-eaten musical brocade
Created to pretend we never die,
And specious stuff that says No rational being
Can fear a thing it will not feel, not seeing
That this is what we fear -- no sight, no sound,
No touch or taste or smell, nothing to think with,
Nothing to love or link with,
The anaesthetic from which none come round.

And so it stays just on the edge of vision
A small unfocused blur, a standing chill
That slows each impulse down to indecision.
Most things may never happen: this one will,
And realisation of it rages out
In furnace-fear when we are caught without
People or drink. Courage is no good:
It means not scaring others. Being brave
Lets no one off the grave.
Death is no different whined at than withstood.

Slowly light strengthens, and the room takes shape.
It stands plain as a wardrobe, what we know,
Have always known, know that we can't escape,
Yet can't accept. One side will have to go.
Meanwhile telephones crouch, getting ready to ring
In locked-up offices, and all the uncaring
Intricate rented world begins to rouse.
The sky is white as clay, with no sun.
Work has to be done.
Postmen like doctors go from house to house.

HOW COULD I HAVE DOUBTED

I stopped looking for you
I stopped waiting for you
I stopped dying for you
and I started dying for myself
I aged rapidly
I became fat in the face
and soft in the gut
and I forgot that I’d ever loved you
I was old
I had no focus, no mission
I wandered around eating and buying
bigger and bigger clothes
and I forgot why I hated
every long moment that was mine to fill
Why did you come back to me tonight
I can’t even get off this chair
Tears run down my cheeks
I am in love again
I can live like this

ПРИЧАСТИЕ


Теперь спи зарывшись лицом в подушку
словно прислушиваясь к тайне
прикрыв глаза отдыхают ресницы как изгороди
вокруг запертых монастырей зрачков
кружась в светлой воронке бытия чаше света
крике жизни боли познания
ты живешь лишь одно мгновение
твои ребра волнуются коралловые рифы твоих волос
сверлят кровь и тупятся о кость

эта секунда до вопля наслаждения шлифует все вокруг
теперь когда ветры приносят дождь к ставням и дверям
темное удушье
спи зарывшись лицом в подушку словно прислушиваясь к ударам весел
в твоей крови ты бабочка трепещущего света
чей скелет уже готов рассыпаться в прах

(когда эта кровь сгустится когда бледное станет голубым)
(когда кости захрустят белые вороны с кошачьими глазами станут терзать тебя)
(их птенцы найдут себе корм в гнезде твоего живота)
...твой труп и мой труп
солнце станет маленьким
клевер покроется ржавчиной
слепые зеркала
темный замкнутый круг оконных стекол
зеленая ночь без конца

теперь спи я уткнусь носом в букет твоего затылка
как зрел как пьянящ аромат затылка
ты жива
ты изысканный цветок из пульсирующей слоновой кости
ты глубока как чашечка гардении тиха как арум
теперь спи шевельнись ты ломаешь свет руками
пар в углублениях твоей шеи как наркотик
тебе в жертву приношу я эти руки полные воздуха
возьми
ешь пей живи
возьми также и мои руки и сок моего тела
улыбнись еще раз во сне мой цветок мой плод
ты не слышишь как ночь вгрызается в крышу над нашими головами

Евгениий Витковский, перевод с африкаанс