"Who could fail to weep at such pain so deliberately inflicted? At the sly cruelties minutely calibrated so as to escape detection? At the way these babies – tiny, dearly-loved scraps of life – fought so fiercely to survive but stood no chance against the truly wicked depredations of the neonatal nurse entrusted with their care?

And as for the rest of us, we are forever changed. How could we not be?

On Monday, I sat and witnessed those mothers speaking, those fathers struggling to articulate their grief. And as they shed tears, I wept too, just as every parent, every decent person in this land must surely have wept as the full extent of Letby’s icy malevolence was laid bare.

Her sole motive – so deeply pathetic and all the more appalling for that – appears to have been the pursuit of attention. From her colleagues, from a consultant she had a crush on, from the parents clamouring for hope – unknowingly submitting to the hugs and comfort of the woman who had literally just murdered their babies.

*

It is said when a parent dies, you lose your past – but when a child dies, you lose your future. The courage of these bereaved parents, sharing their deepest anguish with such dignity, is surely proof that evil will not prevail."

I feel like nowadays problem is that in order not to offend insane people they are willing to sacrifice good people. It is like a warped, psychotic form of empathy, which really should not be called that. It is like empathy is used to hijack someones mind.

Or perhaps it is also just a big portion of indifference and ignorance.

Cilveeki ir achgaarni un truli un ljauni arii, karoche.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-66104004

Turpinu šokēties par baby killer medmāsu, ko šonedēļ UK notiesāja. Viņa strādāja jaundzimušo intensīvās aprūpes nodaļā, un bez rezervācijām vismaz pāri divdesmit (no kuriem vismaz 7 nomira) jaundzimušajiem sašpricēja vēnās gaisu vai insulīnu vai ūdeni vai pienu, pāris dienas un nedēļas veciem zīdaiņiem.

Šķiet šokējoši vienojošais visādiem sērijveida slepkavām, par ko esmu dzirdējusi, vai vispār psihopātiskām slepkavām (as opposed to crimes of passion) ir tas, ka šie upuri viņu dzīvē ir teju pats nesvarīgākais - kā kaut kads stabs ko jāpabīda malā. Viņi upurus uztver kā kaut kādu nesvarīgu bezmazvai inanimate object type means to an end. And in their world and in their story other things are much more important. Killing is like this side thing they do, like a tedious compulsion that you jsut accept as a personal quirk, not paying much attention to what it means or how it affects other humans, or victims themselves. Victims are totally irrelevant. As their main occupying thought is their personality and their emotional experiences. Piemēram, tas ka LL pilnībā neizrādīja emocijas, kad tika apspriesti viņas upuri un viņu vecāki, bet kad runa gāja par viņas pašnāvības mēģinājumu, vai kad liecināja ārsts kurā viņa bija ieķērusies, tikai tad viņa izrādījā jebkādas emocijas. Un tas, ka viņa dažus bērnus nogalināja, lai pievērstu šī ārsta uzmanību.

Basically, some humans don't see humans as humans, or they do not experience any emotion when it comes to human life and what it is worth or what it means. They simply cannot differentiate between a human life/soul and some.. well - thing.

It is really striking, and it leaves you wondering whether it is a mental defiiciency of few or a scary feature of all humans. Given that many humans end up doing cold-hearted things being utterly blind to how it affects others.

I just do not know how to mentally deal with such darkness.

Bask in the glory of.

Who else could be hell bent in creating a chasm between someone's body and soul but the great divider?

From God arises only wholeness and unity.

Pasta pasta pasta everywhere.

"The problem, however, is that atheism can only take something away; once the old faith is gone, it offers nothing to fill the void. Yet some atheists acknowledge that human beings consistently demonstrate a need to believe in something beyond themselves, conceding that this might serve an evolutionary purpose. Whatever the cause of our curious instinct to put our hands together for gods, dictators or Gary Lineker, we can now see that a generation that doesn’t look outwards, towards God, looks inwards, to itself. The defining spirit of our time is self-obsession; neurosis, self-actualisation, the triumph of mind over matter. What I want, I must have. What I wish to be, I can become."

Omg, go Trump! Dat speech.. I only wish Rishi had the same guts to put a strict end to gender affirming abuse.

Vasara ir vēla un viegla.

Pie mums ir atbraukusi R mamma un brāļa meita, kas dzīvi ir atvieglojis līdz raudienam - beidzot var uzelpot un priecāties. S tagad būs ilgas brīvdienas no dārziņa un nemitīga bumbulēšanās ar radiem un draugiem. Cik labi, ka tagad katrā istabā ir pa cilvēkam un smaidam pie kura var aiziet. Tagad man atkal ir resnās budas sajūta, kur gratefulness briest pāri malām un piepilda visu laiktelpu, when all effort is effortless celebration of life. Paldies tev mīļo Dieviņ atkal.

Tagad, kad man ir tik labs un piepildīts bet atvieglot prāts, es varu aizlūgt par visu cilvēci un paslepšus isdarīt tā, lai vismaz viens esības stūrītis ir mazs sidraba zobratiņš, kas iegriež pasauli labākās sliedēs.

S mīļākie televīzijas raidījumi:

1) Cuquin
2) Arpo
3) Gecko's Garage
4) Bing
5) El Estepario Siberiano

Honesti, kādiem loxiem jābūtu, lai iebilstu pret ULEZ un future petrol car bans? At least in cities like London? How does it not make sense to fuck fumes that poison gentle children and already wretched adults? Neviens negrib elpot jūsu mašīnu pirdekļus. Just produce only electric cars and get over it loxi.

All of us will really regret being negative downers.

Life is such a loving gift.

Houston, we have a problem..

S ir apguvis jaunu vārdiņu 'puķe', only viņš to izrunā kā 'puta' :')

Pirmo reizi manaa darbaa kaadu atlaida deelj misogynistic jokiem.. wokism is real! It's not just social media, it exists in actual reality! Whoa, papinj!

Dazhreiz, kad esmu izsuukusi paklaaju, un tad peec kaada laika pamanu ka S ir izkaisiijis savas drupachinjas..ja tas ir kaut kas garshiigs like cepuminjsh, tad es vinjas vienkaarshi uzlasu un apeedu.

Ok.. Cyberbob has a newsflash jaals. Man jau LIKĀS, ka Temu sievietes balss izklausās pēc kaut kādām sātana grūpiju mēlēm (nothing personal lady who recorded it), vai vismaz dziesmas lirikas. Un tagad viss ir skaidrs - Temu ir ķīniešu spyware to submit us all into the abyss of new age communism. God, they really think people are dumb, and God, people really are dumb. Oh well, iešu atpakaļ uz virtuvi vārīt sautējumu, papiņ.

Klausiities JP un Duglasaa just makes me want to cry as a littlest bech.. this amount of pristine crystal logos is just pure God's grace. :')

'The point of truth is not a game, it is to get you somewhere.'

Oh jubly, on Woman's Hour ir vesela sekcija par narcissistic mothers triggering all sorts of sweet memories..

'“There was a horrific, horrific phone call,” says Louise. “My husband could tell that I was getting agitated so he put it on loudspeaker so he could listen in. She just started questioning why I was with him, saying I'd rushed into having a family, I wasn't doing the right thing. My husband could hear all of this. He just ended up picking up the handset and giving a ‘What for?’ down the phone, then slamming the phone down.

“He just said, ‘That’s not what a mother does. That’s not what a caring mother, new grandmother does.’ He called her out on it, and they did have a difficult relationship as a result because every time she's called out or was called out, it never went well. She couldn’t take it on board, she couldn’t reflect. It was us being vicious and nasty and manipulative.'

Līdz šim es domāju ka psihopāti ir utimate villains, bet tagad man šķiet ka varbūt tie drīzāk ir narcisisti. Jo lai arī psihopāti var būt narcissisti, oftentimes they don't give a damn what others think of them so they just calmly carry on, kamēr narcissisti is what it is.

So far it is looking severely warped:

- A narcissist is someone who has an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and seeks attention and admiration, while often ignoring the feelings of others.
- ‘From what I've learned about narcissists, they try to separate their herd, their children, away from other people. And they'll say everything negative about everyone else, because they want to keep them close. They want to keep them on their team, on their side, like it's a war.
- They would bad-mouth others and destroy people verbally.
- Harsh outbursts, afer which they would resume life as normal, as if nothing happened.
- When called out they would not let it go but seek revenge either verbal or in real life actions, to specifically make their victim suffer the consequences of their hurt ego.
- Extremely volatile, and EVERYTHING is someone else's fault - narcissist can do nothing wrong. Particularly this affects young children whose parents are narcissists.
- Silent treatment, inability to communicate in an authentic, reciprocal way, inability to reflect, zero empathy.

Honestly, what makes such human beings? It is like a sticky satan mode that cilngs to it's benevolent victims, until they are reduced and degraded in a similar way, like some sort of terrible nature's display of emotional parasitism.

"Michael Doherty, 50, from Suffolk, was shocked by what he saw when teachers at Thurston Primary School finally allowed him to see teaching materials intended for his nine-year-old daughter - after weeks of not allowing him access. It follows MailOnline revealing a wealth of questionable and sometimes graphic teaching material made for controversial Relationships and Sex Education (RSE) classes, which became compulsory three years ago. Secretive lesson plans showed schoolchildren are being taught about anal sex and orgasms before they have reached puberty and set 'masturbation' as homework."

Like, wtf world, why are you so gross and horrific! Malignant, gross, rotten rotten rotten, sin-riddled, revolting narcissists. How to protect children from this overwhelmingly degraded world? It simply must not all be so hope- and power-less. I so wish there was something good people could do to make a real difference. I wish I knew what I could do.

A lot of negative emotions are narcissistic as they refuse God's authority of good intent and grace. They give preference in belief in human authority of malignancy. Which is naturally a delusion. Bad faith and narcissistic to believe humans have more power than God.

Alternative/opposite to resentment is gratitude.

"Debanking is an insidious practice, because people have no option nowadays but to have an account, with cash no longer accepted in many quarters. That makes it an essential utility similar to the provision of water which cannot just be removed on the whim of some internal inquisition."

Ja senaak sapuceeties shkjita mazliet maaniities smukumaa un frishhmaa, tad tagad it is a total blatant lie.

Mana defaultaa kondiicija ir messy leggingi un tops vai saljuksi maajas kleita, un es nezinu kaa, bet es vienmeer ozhu peec kaut kaada mistiska sviesta/siera/olu maisiijuma, un pat ar meikapu mana seja izskataas nogurusi un mazliet traka.

"Don't sabotage yourself by unwittingly adopting negative, unproductive attitudes through your associations with others."

Whenever Jordan Peterson starts analysing terrible people.. "so I am going to refer first to the story of Cain and Abel.."

"A charity which advises medics to refer to a vagina as a “bonus hole” to avoid upsetting transgender men."

In case yall's reality is not warped enough this fine Monday morning.

You did this liberal doofuses, are you still having fun?

"Archbishop of York tells General Synod that ‘Our Father’ has patriarchal connotations..

The archbishop of York has suggested that opening words of the Lord’s Prayer, recited by Christians all over the world for 2,000 years, may be “problematic” because of their patriarchal association."

I mean.. it is hard not to despise toxic feminism, or whatever it is that obliterates the fabric of reality.

Kaut kaada aprakusi kali aardaas.

Ok, es neesmu izlasījusi visu bībeli, bet vismaz Jauno Derību.. bet ja tur kaut kas būtu bijis par šo es vai tad neatcerētos - kā kristīgi izturēties pret cilvēkiem, kas ir clearly wrong and malicious in their thoughts/actions? Jo vienu dienu Jēzus ballējas ar žuļikiem, bet nākamajā dienā viņs spārda viņu galdus un šķaidās ar monētām.

Jo dažreiz, kad es lasu vai klausos modernos onkuļus un tantes, kam it kā piekrītu, mani tikuntā pārņem sājums, kad kristieši vai konservatīvie ir nikni un upitty un nozākā ideologus. I feel like it is somehow bad taste and worse than actual thing they oppose. That said, ideologi un narcisisti of course are so twisted, backward and malevolent, that it is hard to feel kindness toward them, as they prey on the most vulnerable and tender, and do not experience authentic empathy.

I dunno, I always feel like it is not my job to teach and judge astray people. Then again - what do I do when they affect me directly and when I encounter malevolence? Jo Jēzus ir šo to teicis par lukewarmness and fence-sitting. But I have always felt like any sort of action contradicts so many teachings and reccommendations which intrinsically feel so important to maintain humanity and dignity.

Varbūt man vajag parunāties ar kādu padri.

It sucks how people sometimes defend shitty people by saying, well - it is just the way they are, they mean well. Good people don't make other people feel the darkness, they don't treat people badly and don't say obviously hurtful things, end of. If you ever encounter somoene who does that, they are not good people, they are clearly posessed, they are not themselves anymore, and you should never engage with a demon. If you are ever in doubt about treatment of others just question if love, if Jesus would ever act in such a way, or if not - who would act in such a way.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Emotional and relational intelligence is so rare, so that whenever I encounter it I want to cry a little bit.

There is so much to be happy and grateful for in life, ka es jūtos eksistenciāli resna!

I can't stop, this is just too good! "As in the fable of the Emperor’s New Clothes, it can take the clear-eyed gaze of a child to cut through the nonsense and tell it like it is."

"One day in the late 14th century, King Charles VI of France woke up labouring under the misapprehension that he was, in fact, made of glass. People immediately assumed madness; his courtiers and subjects, even the future pope. A regency council was formed. His wife and other relatives assumed the reins of government. All because, even in the midst of the superstitious medieval era, identifying as a window was considered a step too far.

Fast forward to 2023, and we’d probably be dousing him in windolene and asking what pattern of curtain suited him best. It feels absurd to be typing this, but audio has emerged from an East Sussex school of a teacher reprimanding some pupils who’ve refused to treat as a reality another pupil’s claim that they are, in fact, a cat."

Waittt a minute..if I identify as queen, then it should be within my human rights to demand that everyone refers to me as her majesty. And if they refuse I should be able to prosecute them and thus earn moneu!

I literally wouldn't care if teenagers want to identify as cats and we all have to accept it. Es vienkārši ķiķinātu savā kartupeļu dārzā un irgātos par mūsdienām, papiņ. But as of S, mani viss šis vājprāts tik ļoti trigero un rausta. Jo ko gan lai es viņam atbildu par pasauli, kad viņš sāk prasīt? Plus skolas vispār šķiet kā Gotham's finest mental asylums. I feel like we will have to make some super hard decisions, if some conservative hero on a white horse does not slay all these rainbow dragons.

I wish there was a fail proof way to know what of the crazy dooms are true and to be feared, and what are just scare-mongering and waste of mental energy.

I feel like a lot of it is waste of mental energy. After all - isn't the main conspiracy - that by keeping us in a state of fear they control us. And to be free and authentic to God is to not fear but live each day as a sweet, gentle daisy.

Anyways, I just wish to believe that things are not that negative and that everything will be OK in the end, just as God intended and reliably supports.

So, lai arī I feel like there is a lot of sense in conservative fears and predictions, I also feel like there is so much contradiction bordering in bad faith and same hedonistic fear indulgence as what they fear and criticize.

So I dunno papiņ, I just don't want to feel so bad anymore.

Katru reizi, kad es mēģinu kaut ko uzrakstīt, es kļūstu par like that meme song versions Džordanu Pītersonu drunk on symbols - the meme song versions only.

Then again, drunk on symbols meme song versions kids will understand.

Apparently it is now out of date to be prosecuted for killing actual children.. Lasu rakstu par sievieti, kas UK uztaisījusi sev abortu 34 nedēļā, un tagad visi psiho, cik gan tas ir barbariski apcietināt sievieti par tādu lietu silly lietu, un ka steidzami jāparskata likumi, lai tādi incidenti vairs nerastos. Timmēr pati dāma posto Instagrammā estētiskas bildītes par to kā gan jau ka viņā šo setback arī dzīvē pārvarēs.

Honestly, the society is so shocking and revolting, and I will never get used to this utter vile shit. Jūs vispār zināt kā bērns izskatās 34 nedēļā? Bērnu var veiksmīgi piedzemdēt 24 nedēļās un viņš ir leģitīms cilvēks, bļe.

Kas mani šokē ir ka tai dāmai jau ir 3 bērni ir, un šis vairs nebija ērts. Varbūt tad atļaujiet inconvenienced mātēm nomušīt arī savus infants and toddlers, jo viņi ir piebesījuši un sagādā pārāk daudz neērtību. 34 nedēļas, 38 nedēļas, 40 nedēļas pāris mēneši, gadiņš Moloham viss viens.

Honestly, society, what the acual fucks. I don't know what needs to be done to help such wretched women, but sure it is not allowing to abort/kill fully formed humans.

Man tik ļoti gribas ar S izskriet zaļā pagalmā un tur bumbulēt vasariņā ar sienāžiem.

Tajā vietā ir vesels pasākums nonākt pie jelkāda zaļumiņa, un pat tur tikai sunīšu kakas, izsmēķi un palstmasas korķīši.

Pilsēta vasarā der tikai depresīviem dzejniekiem, kam speciāli patīk piesārņojums un betons, un izmocīta daba.

Nevajadzeeja skatiities The Great Awakening, tagad atkal buus jaapieliek ekstra puulinji kljuut baltaakam.

Man vietējā indiešu veikaliņā pārdod plombīra saldējumu vafeles turziņā, it truly is highlight for my soul. Man patīk viņu ēst staigājot zem bērziem pa trotuāri.

Ok, ja visi tik filozofiski pieiet dzimtēm, tad nošķiriet toletes pēc sex not gender, un ja tas nestrādā, tad nošķiriet mentally challenged and mentally sound people tualetes. Or just be very specific and make toilets for people with authentic vaginas and penises, and toilets for artificial vaginas and penises. I mean you cannot argue with that, and if you do, then make a third toilet for people who cannot tell the difference between natural and artificial.

Best pathway to misery is continually thinking of how you feel.

Self consciousness is facet of neuroticism.

Every self conscious thought is a form of of anxiety.

Oh God.. es izlasīju šo citātu un man aizritinājās domu virknīte pa taisno in the doomiest of scenario outlooks. Bet, protams, papiņ! Dieva nāve, postmodernie, ego kults un new age bumbu tripošana.

Cilvēki ir maniakāli apsēsti ar visām šīm wack un bad psychedelic kustībām, dēļ saviem ego! It is a pure, concise question of ego, and what will reflect my divine (..not, but satanic of course, es jums saku) ego in most elaborate way.

Es jau zinu, ka to visi zina, bet man tas tiešām tikai tikko pieleca tik kristālskaidri.

Tā, kā tagad katrs cilvēks pats ir dievs, tad inherently - Dievu pārpratuši, šie nekrietnie psihie dieviņi, plikie karaļi, pilnīgi sirdīgi un nopietni uzskata, ka tas ir viņu vitālais un izšķirošais pienākums prīčot un atalgot un sodīt veidos kādus viņi izfantazē par adekvātiem. And all because they are scared to perish into the black void of no God or love. Aptuveni, kā padoties sātana opkupācijai, lai Dieva nāves okupācija nepazudina.

Basically:

If you want to know how pathalogically engorged someone's ego is - see how woke they are. The less woke, the helthier your ego probably is.

"We no longer know how to think critically. Subjectivity and nihilism rule supreme: the deranged, post-modernist woke cargo cult claims that there no longer is truth, just our truths. Ideas are at best positional goods, fashion statements and markers of social hierarchy, and at worst tools of oppression. Words are devoid of any essential meaning: expressing “righthink” signals high status (even if the opinion is nonsense, such as the claim that China had nothing to do with Covid) and “wrongthink” (such as support for Brexit) implies low-status."

Man ir žēl to nabaga Telegraph žurnālistiņu, kas raksta savus inteliģentos un concise rakstiņus par to, cik neloģiski un agresīvi ir trans aktīvisti un cik nosvērti un nevienam neko slitku nevēloši ir viņu iebildēji profesori un filozofu tantes. Bet protams. Tikai, ka jums ir bijusi dzīves pieredze, jūs zināsiet, ka nav iespējams ne debatēt pat ne iepīkstēties pret narcisistiem un neirotiķiem. Jebkurš vārds no jūsu mutes viņu aklajām acīm un nedzirdīgajām ausīm ir tikai kārtējais mortālais victimisation un izaicinājums un dead trans kid. Nemēģiniet pat sevi attaisnot ar savu slepkavniecisko loģiku, nosvērtību un patiesību.

But I guess, you have to keep writing un pateiktie vārdi pat nekurienes vidū ir egregors.

I think UK will probably survive politically solely due to the emotional restrain it has practiced for hundredses of years, that others mock and ridicule.

Literally guys, emotional restrain is the pinnacle of human evolution.

To hold a debate and make decisions based on clear, conservative, emotional restrain is God's miracle.

In contrast the derangedness and emotionally indulgent frenzy of idealogues is pure sin and and something to definitelly steer clear not to find oneself in satan's teritory.

Bet protams, ka Latvija ur politiski atpalikusi, par to shaubu nevar buut. Dzejnieki un baalelinji un hipiji.

Maculate heart.

Pēdējā laikā vairāki raksti par trans mužikiem, kurus izbano no sieviešu sporta. This makes me so relieved, jo rodas apziņa, ka UK varbūt tomēr izturēs un saglabās savu common sense, konservatīvi veselīgo skatījumu uz lietām.. but also so embarassed about human species. Vai tiešām tiešām tiešām, lai cik garīgi neveseli, cilvēki var būt apjukuši par to, vai vīrieša ķermenis var maģiski kļūt par sievietes ķermeni? It's not like they have polyjuice potion for heaven's sakes. It sevišķi nevis paši garīgi apjukušie trans, bet pārējie, it kā garīgi veselīgie cilvēki!? Man ir tik ļoti žēl to nabaga meiteņu, kurām jāsacenšas ar mužikiem, just to indulge their warped fancy. Protams, ka vīriešiem nekad nebūs iespēja piedzīvot ekvivalentu šādam wrongdoing. Atkal visa huiņa sievietēm, papiņ.

And I simply cannot believe people / institutions that are going along with this. I know it is too stupid to be funny, bet tik pat labi es varu paziņot ka esmu trans chard and have instant advantage in biggest chard competition, and who will dare to belittle my authentic winner freshly chardine feelings.

Anyway, pēdējā laika ziņas makes me sort of happy and proud to live in you kay against all odds finally, jo part of the remaining old English way is just so delightfully no nonsense and logosy, that it is exhilirating.

Man šķiet es beidzot varbūt esmu piešāvusies būt par passable mājsaimnieci. Pirmo reizi jau dažas nedēļas māja regulāri izskatās vairāk kārtīga nekā nekārtīga, izlietnē nekrājas trauki, drēbes ir salocītas, un laundry baskets empty(ish), pusdienas un vakariņas ir galdā bez fuss or frown. Man ir izveidojusies iemanīga rutīna, un nereti es sevi pieķeru apmulstam, jo nezinu ko vēl sakārtot, kamēr ir laiks, jo viss jau ir sakārtots!? Man ir laiks un enerģija uzlabot lietas, ne tikai tās drebelīgi vākt. I feel more relaxed and happy, and thus I have this vibe to carry and share and it is a magic to use to make everything and everyone better.

Protams, tā ir tikai likumsakarīga dzīves patiesība, but I wish someone had told me that you can get better at things the more you do them, and things - when done - get easier and more doable.

Basically, I just really feel like Tony Robbins would be proud with me. Un pats afektīgākais fakts ir tas, ka I don't feel overwhelmed and weighted down by whirlwind of tasks and tasky mom brain lists, bet gan I feel like a more efficient concise task ant, as if it is my nature to be able to proccess a grand volume of jobs in a short period of time, and it is satisfyingly borignly normal for me.

I even feel so a little bit smug and exhilirated, ka es manīgi skatos uz kosmosu un gaidu, kad kaut kas atkal nogāzīsies.. bet oh well, for a few fleeting moments - it is very fine and I am quietly glad.