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What is similar about the Jesuit and Dominican Orders?
--They were both founded by Spaniards, St. Dominic for the Dominicans, and St. Ignatius of Loyola for the Jesuits. They were also both founded to combat heresy: the Dominicans to fight the Albigensians, and the Jesuits to fight the Protestants.

What is different about the Jesuit and Dominican Orders?
--Well, have you met any Albigensians lately?

***
A Greek Orthodox archaeologist, an Evangelical bible historian, and a Jesuit anthropologist were collaborating on an excavation just outside the walls of the Old City of Jerusalem. They slowly uncovered an entrance to what appeared to be an ancient tomb. Above it they saw an inscription in both Greek and Aramaic: "Here Jesus of Nazareth, who claimed he was King of the Jews, was laid to rest after he was executed at Passover under Pontius Pilate."
Excited by this discovery, they hastened to clear the debris from the entrance, only to be stunned to find not an empty tomb but the skeletal remains of a human body.
"Ohhhh," sighed the Greek Orthodox scholar, "the Church and all the good it does is based on a false event."
"Ohhhh," moaned the Evangelical, "the New Testament, which has guided my life, is nothing but a lie."
"Ohhhh," exclaimed the Jesuit, "there really was a Jesus!"

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There are three things that even God does not know about the Church:

How many congregations of religious women there are.
How much money the Franciscans have stashed away.
What the Jesuits really think and what they are going to do next.

***
A Franciscan and a Dominican were debating whose order was the greater. After months of arguing, they decided to ask God for an answer when they died. After much deliberation, God sent the following letter:

My sons,
Please stop bickering about such trivial matters. Both orders are equally great and good in my eyes.

Sincerely,
God, SJ