silent wings ([info]sw) rakstīja,
@ 2011-11-09 00:43:00

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Entry tags:fun, travel

kulula.com

Kulula  is a low-cost South-African airline that doesn't take itself  too  seriously. Check out their new livery! And have a read about their  Customer Relations.

WHAT A PITY KULULA DOESN'T FLY INTERNATIONALLY - WE SHOULD SUPPORT THEM IF ONLY FOR THEIR HUMOUR - SO TYPICALLY SOUTH AFRICAN.

Kulula  is an Airline with head office situated in Johannesburg. Kulula  airline  attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety  lecture" and  announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real  examples that  have been heard or reported:

---o0o---

On  a Kulula flight,  (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you  want) passengers  were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a  flight attendant  announced, "People, people we're not picking out  furniture here, find a  seat and get in it!"

---o0o---

On another flight with a  very  "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and  gentlemen,  we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the  cabin  lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of  your  flight attendants."

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On  landing, the  stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your  belongings. If  you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's  something we'd  like to have."

----o0o---

"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."

---o0o---

"Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

---o0o---

After  a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo, a  flight attendant on a flight announced, "Please take care when opening  the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as  hell everything has shifted."

---o0o---

From  a Kulula  employee: "Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth. To  operate your  seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull  tight. It  works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know  how to  operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public  unsupervised."

---o0o---

"In  the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from  the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face.  If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before  assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small  child, pick your favourite."

---o0o---

Weather  at our  destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll  try to have  them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember,  nobody loves you,  or your money, more than Kulula Airlines."

----o0o---

"Your  seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an  emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our  compliments."

---o0o---

"As  you exit the plane, make sure  to gather all of your belongings.  Anything left behind will be  distributed evenly among the flight  attendants. Please do not leave  children or spouses."

---o0o---

And  from the pilot during  his welcome message: "Kulula Airlines is pleased  to announce that we  have some of the best flight attendants in the  industry. Unfortunately,  none of them are on this flight!"

---o0o—

Overheard  on a Kulula flight  into Cape Town , on a particularly windy and bumpy  day: During the final  approach, the Captain really had to fight it.  After an extremely hard  landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and  Gentlemen, welcome to  The Mother City. Please remain in your seats  with your seat belts  fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of  our airplane to the  gate!"

---o0o—

Another  flight attendant's comment on a  less than perfect landing: "We ask you  to please remain seated as  Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the  terminal."

---o0o—


Finally  everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a  cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no  Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we  land, or were we shot down?"

---o0o—

After  a real crusher  of a landing in Johannesburg , the attendant came on  with, "Ladies and  Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain  Crash and the Crew  have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt  against the gate. And,  once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning  bells are silenced, we  will open the door and you can pick your way  through the wreckage to the  terminal."

---o0o—

Part  of a flight attendant's arrival  announcement: "We'd like to thank you  folks for flying with us today.  And, the next time you get the insane  urge to go blasting through the  skies in a pressurized metal tube, we  hope you'll think of Kulula  Airways."

THE END



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[info]chimera
2011-11-09 08:41 (saite)
ai, cik brīnišķīgi!!

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