Vieddomas
A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A drunk mans’ words are a sober mans’ thoughts.
A person is just about as big as the things that make them angry.
After all is said and done, more is said than done.
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
All work and no play, will make you a manager.
Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Carpenter’s rule: cut to fit; beat into place.
Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
Chicago law prohibits eating in a place that is on fire.
Dawn is nature’s way of telling you to go to bed.
Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
Don’t cry because its over, smile because it happened.
Don’t look unless you’re prepared to see.
Dyslexics have more fnu.
Early to rise, and early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.
F u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmmng.
I have a strong will but a weak won’t.
I’m busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would ever get done.
If the early bird catches the worm, what about the worm?
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
Never buy a car you can’t push.
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
Sex on tv can’t hurt unless you fall off.
Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Software is just like sex. One mistake and you end up giving lifetime support.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
Take it easy, and if you get it easy take it twice.
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
The best things in life aren’t things.
The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
They call it "pms" because "mad cow disease" was already taken.
Think much, Speak little, Write less.
To err is hunam.
To generalize is to be an idiot.
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
Why buy shampoo when real poo is still free.
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.

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