stingri iesaku izlasīt Mērijas Geitskilas 1994. gada eseju "On not Being a Victim: Sex, Rape, and the Trouble with Following Rules", kas man personīgi ir sniegusi jaunu, emocionāli rafinētāku veidu, kā domāt par seksuālajām u.c. pieredzēm. tur ir nianses, kuru man pietrūkst gandrīz visos tekstos, kas pieskaras tēmai.

"I remember my experience in Detroit, including its aftermath, every time I hear or read yet another discussion of what constitutes "date rape." I remember it when yet another critic castigates "victimism" and complains that everyone imagines himself or herself to be a victim and that no one accepts responsibility anymore. I could imagine telling my story as a verification that rape occurs by subtle threat as well as by overt force. I could also imagine telling it as if I were one of those crybabies who want to feel like victims. Both stories would be true and not true. The complete truth is more complicated than most of the intellectuals who have written scolding essays on victimism seem willing to accept. I didn't understand my own story fully until I described it to an older woman many years later, as a proof of the unreliability of feelings. "Oh, I think your feelings were reliable," she returned. "It sounds like you were raped. It sounds like you raped yourself.""

http://genedseminars.umb.edu/engl273-2/spg09/documents/HarpersMagazine-1994-03-0001592.pdf