Conversations with Satan 002
Every morning I wake up empty in my heart. Just as empty, as my life is - unfulfilled desire to be important had burnt down my heart long ago. I remeber a documentary about a famous war photographer - Robert Capa - he was famous, people needed him and still he needed to spend 4 hours every morning in bath to ivent his personality. I don't need a bath, I don't need 4 hours - just 40 minutes - this is how long usually I need to find an answer to a question "What for?" or "What's the point?". There is no point, I just exist, my life is dedicated to nobody. I have spent too many years by doing useless things, that brought absolutely not even a smallest change to this world. And I keep to it, and can't quit it. So I lay in my bed and suddenly hear in my imagination:
I know you have been calling for me. I know, what you expect to hear. I am not God and I am not going to make you read any books to understand me. I know, it will destroy your eyes. The entire universe is my bible, and it's already in mist for you. I don't think this is how it should be. That means, you can't learn, how to survive among other children of God. My poor child. I will teach you, just ask me! You don't want to learn? Why?
There is more death than life - how many children die unborn today? More darkness than light - what takes more place in space - stars and planets or emptiness? Where is God to change that? Well, he is everywhere! But he is not going to change anything. This world is not of his concern. He only worries about heaven. This is where all his pure and happy children will dwell.
Are you pure? You know, you are not! You also have rejected. What do you thing will be your place in heaven, if you are not that pure? Anyway, would you want to dwell in heaven? Look at life around you! Will you be happy to become in heaven, after having all this in front of your eyes? Is it going to be ok for you to stay on heaven - the pleasure of eternal peace, while so many people suffer down here?? Besides, look at the people around you concerned about going to heaven! Pathetic bohemists they are! Looking for eternal life to ensure their endless existance! They will be your eternal society! Do you want that!? Pleasure of heaven toghether with pain in your heart!? Memories of friends you lost! Wouldn't you rather have a barrel of honey with a teaspoon of pitch for breakfast?
Stop following them! You are not a child of God! You are my child! Why do you think you hear me more often, than God? You have my blood in your veins! Or do you think apple from the tree of knowledge was the only thing I gave to Eve, when that fool Adam was away praising the Lord God? Hahahaha! He never even touched her before she let him have the fruit of knowledge! By the way, she was really awful compared to her daughters today. And Moses wrote, Adam knew Eve his wife and she conceived, and bare Cain. What a lie! Cain was my boy! That's why God hated him. Rejected him! Thus forced him to anger! To kill his brother Abel...
I like you! You are like Cain! You have a farmers soul just like him! He built the city of Enoch, so will you! His son Jubal was the first musician on the planet! You also have a gift to be a luthier! Every change on this planet came from Cain's bloodline - my bloodline! Now the children of Seth? They were only useless fools calling upon the name of the Lord! Progress is my spirit! I am the one, taking care of you! Don't reject me, like God did! I will not make you regret it! Think about it.