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audiobooks for the deaf [Oct. 7th, 2009|10:55 pm]
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[Current Mood |estūpido]
[Current Music |none]

Reiz ŅūVampšīrā dzīvoja divi zombiji - misters Zombijs-Dārsijs un miss Zombija-Benetta. Viņi, protams, bija ļoti iemīlējušies, bet viņu piederība pie dažādas klases zombijiem padarīja viņu mīlestību neiespējamu, kas savukārt padarīja šos abus ļoti suicidālus. Bet zombiji vsp ir diezgan stulbas būtnes, tāpēc šo abu nabadziņu pašnāvības grūtības pakāpe bija samērā tuva vampīru pašnāvības sarežģītības pakāpei. Abi gadsimtiem kautrīgi saskatījās un devās mājup rakstīt pirmsnāves vēstules, kuras adresēja viens otram. [Vēlāk abu dēls Dhampīrs, kam bija tieša saistība ar upirjiem no Krievzemes, nopublicēja tās grāmatā 'Suicidālie dialogi vēstulēs. Klubs.']
Bet vienā jaukā vakarā, kad abi sīkretie mīlnieki pastaigājās gar Wančesteras kanāla pretējām malām, no kanāla iznira Bārbija Nāriņa [1994.ā gada modelis ar lillā matiem un zilām acīm] no Bārbijas Sāgas - Mermaidiānes Džonsas. Viņa bija atceļojusi no nākotnes, jo nāriņas dzīvoja uz laika robežas zemūdens daļas. Viņa izstāstīja, ka nākotnē, kurp viņa arī bija ceļojusi, lai satiktu AstroKenu, naudai un dzimtām vairs nebūs tik liela nozīme. Tas piepildīja mūsu abus zombijus ar cerību uz skaistu nākotni. Viņi pat reizēm sāka kautrīgi sarunāties.
Tas turpinājās līdz 20.ajā gadsimtā viņi vsp satika nekrievu Nabokovu, kurš sapazīstināja viņus ar krievu Nabokovu, kurš pazina visus Krievijas upirjus, kuri iemācīja zombijiem taisīt bērnus. Tā piedzima Dhampīrs.

Šodien ir viņu kāzu, kuras 1959.gada 7.oktobrī notika Elvisa kaķa Melvisa baznīcā LasVegasā, zelta kāzu jubileja. Apsveicam!

Nemāku to pateikt latviski - bet tas skan tā -> "Бред сивой кобылы!"
[Labi, ka kurlie tomēr tās audiogrāmatas nedzird..]
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smadzene aizveras [Sep. 26th, 2009|01:14 am]
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[Current Mood |grūti nosakāma]
[Current Music |jane's addiction - just because [vnk skan]]

I was alone in my room yesterday night. Well, of course, I had my teddy with me, but still - that doesn't really count, does it?
And I'm not talking about being physically alone - 'cos I'm used to it. It was a psychic thing, actually.
You know - I have this creepy kind of mind, which isn't able to keep silent for a while or stop thinking, going round and round, remembering the conversations I had, chats I wrote, lyrics of music I listened to, parts of conversations I overheard in a buss or a tram or just on a street. And every evening I can't find that "shut up" or "shut down" button.
I try to get my mind exhausted.. I stay late up, watch a movie, watch half a dozen trailers, write a blog, read movie news, read a book, listen to some music, listen to an audio-book, but as soon as I switch of the light and.. my mind starts talking.
It can talk with itself, with some imaginary character of myself or somebody of my childhood or my imaginary twin sister, whom I have since I was 9. It can also have some conversations with really existing people, whom I meet everyday. I discuss things I keep silent about in everyday life. It talks to fiction characters from movies and books. And it can just hold some kind of speech, a philosophic one...
And it's never silent it my head [maybe that's why it aches so often]..
It's usually. Yesterday [as I mentioned already] I was alone. Nobody was there to entertain or amuse or piss me of. I didn't feel lonely though. I felt totally exhausted and blank.
[I feel exhausted now too [that has been my permanent condition for last couple of weeks] There are more hours I'm asleep than awake around the clock. Creepy as if I'm pregnant with a vampire baby or having a brain tumor.. but that's not it..]
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being mūļķe [Aug. 21st, 2009|01:28 am]
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[Current Mood |laimīga, smaidīga mūļķe]
[Current Music |-]

treileri ir tādi brīnumi, kas mūs īsumā iepazīstina ar filmu.
treileru preview ir tādi brīnumi, kas mūs īsumā iepazīsta ar to, kas būs treilerī, kas mūs īsumā iepazīstinās ar to, kas būs filmā.
fantastiš, hepī plastiš..

____________________________
un kāds noskatās tos visus [un vēl klipus un behind-the-scenes-brīnumus] un tad iet uz kino, sēž un citē tekstus tik uz priekšu, kaitinot tos, kas sēž tam kādam blakus..
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atskaite [Aug. 17th, 2009|11:31 pm]
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[Current Mood |rīlī sad]
[Current Music |kino - blood type]

1) sapnī rakstīju grāmatu par lahanofobiķi - cilvēku, kuram bija bail no dārzeņiem [kāpēc man vnm jāraksta par problemātiķiem? pat sapnī..]
2) pusdienās pētīju gaļu zem mikroskopa un slepus baroju suni
3) draudzenes lielais suns sagrauzis mazo tā, ka mazais ir slimnīcā [laikam komā, nezinu vai ar suņiem tā saka]
4) kkas tajos ekstrasensos ir. nezinu - tas raidījums creeps me out.
5) 'Tauriņš un Skafandrs' ir šedevrs. bēdīgs šedevrs.
6) manai vecmammai tagad ir mīnuss viens zobs.
7) un mans brālis ir atkal zanuda.
8) un es šodien neesmu bijusi ārā no mājām.
9) maniem vecākiem liekas, ka 'mana' mūzika ir depresīva un 'manas' filmas ir bezcerību ieviesošas. [viņiem liekas, ka mūzikai ir jābūt jestrai un jautrai, bet filmām izklaidējošām. maybe - kkas tiem purple-minded personiem ar to iedvesmas meklēšanu negatīvajā, bēdīgajā un pesimistiskajā tomēr ir, tāpat kā ekstrasensiem]
10) un neskatoties uz to, ka varu sākt raudāt kuru katru mirkli - šī bija ļoti laba diena.
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atklāsme of the day [Aug. 13th, 2009|11:19 pm]
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[Current Mood |-]
[Current Music |-]

'Ja nu vampīri tiešām eksistē, tad viņi noteikti lasa 'Twilight' un smejas. Un skatās To filmu um smejas vēl vairāk.'
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New Book [Hā -> New _oo_] [Jul. 16th, 2009|08:39 pm]
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[Current Mood |unsafe]
[Current Music |dropkick murphys - i'm shipping up to boston]

'If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person?'
[smieklīgi, bet man vajadzēja laiku, lai saprastu par to 'place' daļu. bet nū, nesen pati ar to nodarbojos.. aizmigu uz Igaunijas ceļiem, bet pamodos Rīgā Elizabetes ielā..]

'A single frame in a movie is on the screen for one-sixtieth of a second. [...] Only a hummingbird could have caught Tyler at work.'
[vsp varbūt tieši tāpēc, ka kolibri tik daudz spēj uztvert [un, ispējams, viņu laiks ir lēnāks] viņi tik maz dzīvo...]

'This is how it is with insomnia. Everything is so far away, a copy of a copy of a copy. The insomnia distance of everything, you can't touch anything and nothing can touch you.'

'You're a giant. The problem is your shoulders are too big. Your Alice in Wonderland legs are all of a sudden miles so long they touch the feet of a person in front.'

'.. people calm as Hindu cows reach up from their seats toward oxygen masks sprung out of the ceiling.'

'.. and all of a sudden even death and dying rank right down there with plastic flowers on video as a non-event.'
[man patīk viņa salīdzinājumi]

/Chuck Palahniuk "Fight Club"/

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īss dienas apraksts [Jul. 8th, 2009|10:47 pm]
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[Current Mood |nais]
[Current Music |panic at the disco - the piano knows something i don't know]

sākās 01:30 vannas istabā ar txt:

"viņam patīk koeni. un koeniem patīk neobligātās epizodes."



turpinājās 15:20 uz Jūrmalas veloceliņa Rīgas daļas:

"negaiss ir smieklīgs. un netikai tāpēc, ka mākoņi, t.i. gaiss, sasitas savā starpā kā.. nū. kā ne gaiss. O! ne gaiss = negaiss! wow!"



beidzās 23:59 istabā uz grīdas:

"ko nozīmē 'enigmatic' un no kurienes es tādu vārdu zinu?"

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*Jāņu naktī viss notiek netīšām* /Līgo'08 atklāsme/ [Jun. 27th, 2009|12:50 am]
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[Current Mood |'pissed off']
[Current Music |muse - invincible]

'Have you ever thought about how fragile they all are? How many bad things there are that can happen to a mortal?'

/Stephenie Meyer 'Midnight Sun' (partial draft)/



- People are dying, Alfred. What would you have me do?
- Endure...

/ m/f 'The Dark Knight'/



* * *



Neskatoties uz brāļa vājo un mokpilno balsi, es biju mierīgs, kad noliku klausuli. Es noskūpstīju sievu uz vaiga un teicu, ka drīz būšu atpakaļ. Es nebiju dzēris daudz, bet viņa, saprotams, uztraucās par manām braukšanas spējām. Es teicu, ka tie ir tikai nieka 30 km turklāt tādā agrumā ceļi vēl būs tukši. [bija apmēram desmit vakarā, lielākā daļa tik ap šo laiku sāka svinēt].
Īsto pļavu es atradu ātri, kā nekā - bērnībā te paadījām ne vienu vien Jāņu nakti. Es izkāpu no mašīnas. Divas jaunkundzes tā ap 25 sēdēja pie uguskura un atgaiņājās no odiem, bet vīru nebija nekur tuvumā. Es apjautājos par brāli. Šīs izskatījās nobijušās un teica, ka visi pārējie esot nokāpuši līdz upei, bet Līga [tā acīmredzot sauca vienu no meitenēm] te esot izmežģījusi potīti un nevarot paiet, es apsveicu viņu svētkos un devos lejā pa labi pazīstamo taciņu. Šeit uz šīs šaurās patumšās smilšu strēles mani sāka ķert panika. Es pieliku soli.
Drīz es izdzirdēju straumes čaloņu un iereibušu vīru kliedzienus.. un kkaut ko vēl.. tādu kā stenēšanu.. Mana sirds apstājās, kad atpazinu brāļa zemo tembru. Mana galva kļuva skaidra kā stikliņš. Sāku skriet, nokritu, piecēlos un skrēju tālāk.. Šķita, ka celis asiņo, bet nebija laika paskaīties lejup. Es izskrēju krastā. Trīs vīri stāvēja ar mugurām pret mani un smējās, bet bišku patālāk viens ļoti iedzēris bifelis atspārdīja [literāri] mana brāļa kaulaino ķermeni. Aivis bija viss sarāvies un asiņoja. Viņš kliedza aiz sāpēm, izskatījās, ka viņam ir salaustas pāris ribas, seja asiņu un laustā deguna dēļ bija neatpazīstama, bet es zināju, ka tas ir viņš. Es pazinu viņu jau 37 gadus.. Manān acīm priekšā uzgūlās sarkana migla, es nedomājot metos virsū milzīgajam pāridarītājam. Viņa sitieni bija trāpīgāki par manējiem [es biju atmetis sportam ar roku vēl studenta gados, tāpēc nebiju īpaši izveicīgs]. Es sajutu, kā mans žoklis izkustas no ierastās vietas. Viens no 'skatītājiem' saprata, ka arī man ir lemts zaidēt šo kauju. Viņš mēģināja iejaukties un pārējie viņam pievienojās. Milzonis vēl reizes četras iespārdīja Aivim vēderā un pa seju, aizgriezās un nozuda krūmos. Es aizrāpoju līdz brālim. Viņš vēl elpoja, bet nereaģēja uz maniem jautājumiem. Es saņēmos piecēlos un izsaucu ātros, pats es neņēmos viņu kustināt, tāpēc man bija jātiek līdz savai mašīnai vismaz, lai rādītu dakteriem ceļu.. man bija bail atstāt Aivi, bet es izdomāju, ka tas būs viņa paša labā. [vsp šaubos, ka biju spējīgs jelko tonakt izdomāt. Mana sirds dauzījās tik ļoti, ka nedzirdēju pusi no sevis teiktā].

* * *



Aivis nomira vakar no rīta. Divas dienas viņš pavadīja komā. Es tiku vaļā ar salauztu roku un izsistu žokli.
Es īsti nezinu, kā dēļ Aivis vsp iesaistījās tanī kautiņā. No tā, ko es sapratu iz tās 2 minūšu garās telefona sarunas, var izsecināt, ka Milzonis esot Aivja kaimiņš, kurš dzērumā esot izteicis savas greizsirdības aizdomas, jo, redz, viņa sieva esot pārāk labi par Aivi izteikusies. Muļķīgi.. Sanāk, ka mans bračka mira tādēļ, ka pāris reizes aizveda jauno dāmu līdz darbam un atpakaļ [viņu darbavietas šķīra nū.. kvartāli trīs.. protams, viņi runājās, protams, viņi sadraudzējās..] Nepamatoti.. muļķīgi.. stulbi..
Aivim ir līgava. Viņi ļoti mīl viens otru, bet viņa tagad ir darba darīšanās Lietuvā.
Es viņai šodien zvanīju..
Briesmīgi..

* * *



PĀRMĒRĪGA ALKOHOLA LIETOŠANA KAITĒ JŪSU VESELĪBAI!

/rakstīts uz katras alkohola reklāmas/

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geez.. why wasn't I born in 1903? [Jun. 8th, 2009|06:49 pm]
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[Current Mood |damsel in distress]
[Current Music |eclipse [ab]]

"I was always that boy. In my world, I was already a man. I wasn’t looking for love — no, I was far too eager to be a soldier for that; I thought of nothing but the idealized glory of the war that they were selling prospective draftees then — but if I had found..." He paused, cocking his head to the side. "I was going to say if I had found someone, but that won’t do. If I had found you, there isn’t a doubt in my mind how I would have proceeded. I was that boy, who would have — as soon as I discovered that you were what I was looking for — gotten down on one knee and endeavored to secure your hand. I would have wanted you for eternity, even when the word didn’t have quite the same connotations."

/Stephenie Mayer "Eclipse"/


vsp jau man tiešām patiktos dzīvot 20ajos gados.. tiešām.. i'm quiet sure of that.
[tāpat kā man patiktos dzīvot 40ajos un 80ajos, bet ne par to ir runa.. vnk gribētos kādreiz dzirdēt kko līdzīgu arī dzīvē..]

runājot par fiction and reality:

'... the thing with the young these days. They watch too many happy endings. Everything has to be wrapped up, with a smile and a tear and a wave. Everyone has learned, found love, seen the error of their ways, discovered the joys of monogamy, or fatherhood, or filial duty, or life itself. In my days, people got shot at the end of films, after learning only that life is hollow, dismal, brutish and short.'

/Nick Hornby "A Long Way Down"/


varbūt tā ir taisnība.
varbūt uz ekrāna viss ir lovey-dovey, jo tāds ir mūsu pieprasījums. cilvēki vēlas redzēt to, ko neredz dzīvē.
bet agrāk dzīve bija jauka, tāpēc gribējās nedaudz asiņu, vīlšanās, nodevības.. šodien mēs tajā visā vnk slīkstam.. tāpēc mums vajag kko stabilu un skaistu [bet vēlams pēc nedaudz asinīm, vīlšanās un nodevības..]

HAHAHA.. atkal nonāku pie vēlmes dzīvot pagātnē. nice..
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the quote unquote things [Jun. 2nd, 2009|09:34 pm]
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[Current Mood |a bookworm]
[Current Music |cure - in between days]

quote number one:
[about a suicide]
'And why is it the biggest sin of all? All your life you're told that you'll be going to this marvelous place when you pass on. And the one thing you can do to get you there a bit quicker is something that stops you getting there at all.'

* she definitely has a point there. it's somehow unfair. there's that movie 'what dreams may come'. probably - it's a sign for me to see it at last.

quote number two:
[about preparation for a suicide]
'I'd finished Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates, which is a totally awesome novel. I was actually going to jump with a copy - not only because it would have been kinda cool, and would've added a little mystique to my death, but because it might have been a good way of getting more people to read it.'

* he has no point at all, but he's funny still. I like him.

quote number three:
[about living]
'Oscar Wilde once said that one's real life is often the life one does not lead. Well, fucking right on, Oscar.'

* I thought of being all tragic today. I just can't do that. I'm not a drama person. although I would like to be one. probably, I would like otherwise if I was one..

quote number four:
[about a choice whether to commit a suicide]
'Some dead people, people who were too sensitive to live: Sylvia Plath, Van Gogh, Virginia Woolf, Jackson Pollock, Primo Levi, Kurt Cobain, of course. Some alive people: George W. Bush, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Osama Bin Laden. Put a cross next to the people you might want to have a drink with, and then see whether they're on the dead side or the alive side. And, yeah, you could point out that I have stacked the deck, that there are a couple of people missing from my 'alive' list who might fuck up my argument, a few poets and musicians and so on. And you could also point out that Stalin and Hitler weren't so great, and they are lo longer with us.'

* well, if everybody would think that way the population of the planet would be reasonable.

quote number five:
[about the difference of dying and wanting to die]
'I didn't feel like a dying man; I felt like a man who every now and again wanted to die, and there's a difference. A man who wants to die feels angry and full of life and desperate and bored and exhausted, all the same time; he wants to fight everyone, and he wants to curl up in a ball and hide in a cupboard somewhere. He wants to say sorry to everyone, and he wants everyone to know just how badly they've all let him down. I can't believe that dying people feel that way, unless dying is worse than I thought. (And why shouldn't it be? every other fucking thing is worse than I thought, so why should be dying be any different?)'

* he's still funny, but he has a grip on describing his feelings very precise. I've felt that way last time I felt suicidal.

quote number six:
[about the reason of being able to kill ants]
'It's the distance that does it, of course. [...] they are just tiny dots, and you can no longer see them, literally or metaphorically. You can't make out their faces, can you, when they're just tiny dots, so you don't need to worry about whether they're happy or sad. It's why we can kill ants'

* that's why we can kill the mosquitoes and moths too..

quote number last:
[just for fun]
- He was dressed modern. He looked like he could have been in a band or something.
- A band? Which band?
- I don't know. Radiohead or someone like that.
- Why Radiohead?
(I said Radiohead because they don't look like anything much. They're just blokes, aren't they?)
- I don't know. Or Blur. Or.. Who's that guy? In that film? He's not the one who's not married to Jennifer Lopez, he's the other one, and they won an oscar, because he was good at maths even though he was only a cleaner.. The blond one. Matt.
- The angel looked like Matt Damon?
- Yeah, I suppose. A bit.

/Nick Hornby "A Long Way Down"/



plus some quotes from some other books:
[just thought-provoking]
'I care the most, because if I can do it... If leaving is the right thing to do, then I'll hurt myself to keep from hurting you, to keep you safe.'

'I don't think he ever planned to outlive you by long.'

'Well, I wasn't going to live without you. But I wasn't sure how to do it… I was thinking maybe I would go to Italy and do something to provoke the Volturi… You don't irritate them. Not unless you want to die.'

/Stephenie Meyer "Twilight" and "New Moon"/



'I care for nothing in comparisons with papa. And I’ll never — never — oh, never I have my senses, do an act or say a word to vex him. I love him better than myself, Ellen; and I know it by this — I pray every night that I live after him; because I would rather be miserable than that he should be: that proves I love him better than myself.'

'If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger.'

'I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!'

/Emily Bronte "Wuthering Heights"/



* well.. I never thought that my death would make someone grieve a lot. but now I start to think about it.. and I think I'm inclined to suffer and endure instead of making my friends and loved ones miserable..
Though I would like to die middle-aged..
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and it's not just a quote [May. 31st, 2009|10:26 pm]
[Tags|, , ]
[Current Mood |sūper. ūber-sūper!]
[Current Music |better not knowing]

'that was the first night i dreamed of edward cullen.'

/stephenie meyer 'twilight' chapter 3 'phenomenon'/



[alright - that was a daydream. yes, i took a nap. yes, that's creepy. i know. no! well.. thanks..]
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alūzijas & reminiscences [May. 31st, 2009|02:55 am]
[Tags|, , , , ]
[Current Mood |hysterical]
[Current Music |some noises in my head]

[NEdzejolis]

zobubirstes runā klusi,
tā ka ausis nedzird pusi.
otru pusi dzirdu es..
un vēl manas smadzenes.

[vispār]

smadzenes ir sviesta varā
diennakts bija baigi garā.
un ir visādi mums gājis,
-> ledusskapī džinsu pāris
nobeidzis ir savu dienu..
pat ja atstās tas man pienu,
rīt var nemeklēt tur sieru..

[toties]

t-krekls skapī - parastajā,
savā plauktā ierastajā..
tas tur lēnām badā mirst..
laikam jāiet koki cirst,
lai var zārku uztaisīt
un tam smiltis pārkaisīt..

[tikmēr]

domu graudi mieg uz galda,
iemesls tam ir caura galva,
un vēl baltā putnu spalva,
kas tepat uz galda stāv.

[un]

pat ja putni tagad smaida
un ar baudu rītu gaida,
un uz kokiem olas dēj,
tik tās vienas spalvas dēļ,
jēriņam ir putnu gripa,
kura ļoti viņu sita.
un viņš ļoti locījās,
bet tik acīs mocījās..

[secinājumi]

kaut tā spalva niecīga,
tā pie visa vainīga,
bet tā šobrīd smaidīga,
jo zin citu grēcīgo,
kas ir mana mikroviļņu krāsns..

[beigas]

'i had an adrenaline rush. it's very common. you can google it.'
/ m/f 'twilight'/

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i can't believe i told him THAT... [May. 27th, 2009|01:53 pm]
[Tags|, , ]
[Current Mood |jaunie literāti]
[Current Music |javier navarrete - lisa]

- so, are you studying english literature or something of a kind?
- no. i study architecture, actually.
- ohh. [pause] why do you need 'wuthering heights' then?
- ah, that. well. i've just read.. well.. the twilight thing. and 'wuthering heights' were mentioned. so i got curious.
- i see. [smiles] i was thinking maybe you have an exam on it..
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