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[Oct. 22nd, 2018|01:43 am] |
- How do you know you're ready to go back to work?
- Insomnia, migraines and actually dreaming.. |
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| nelaimības ģenētika |
[Sep. 11th, 2018|11:36 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | whichever - it isn't real | ] |
- nez, vai tā ir taisnība, ka mūsu laimes un apmierinātības potenciāls ir ierakstīts mūsu DNS?
- i hope not. otherwise - I must be programmed to be miserable. |
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| saruna ar babušku |
[Sep. 3rd, 2017|01:14 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | radio | ] |
- is your friend working today?
- pff. "friend"..
- ok, how should I call him?
- call him by his name! call him by what he is..
- and what is he?
- my lover. |
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| es zinu, ka ir nepieklājīgi skaļi smieties par cilvēkiem.. un noklausīties viņu sarunas. BET... |
[Jun. 19th, 2017|12:26 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | freedom | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | - | ] |
sestdienas pēcpusdiena. stacijas laukums. sēžam uz soliņa un ēdam saldējumu.. un, klasiski, noklausāmies svešu cilvēku sarunas.
[Runātāji - divi ap 30, viegli iereibuši ļoti skaļi krievu tautības vīrieši no blakus soliņa, un divi ar 20-25 čaļi]
- eu, pacani, jū spīk ingliš?
- yes, we do.
- jū hev sigaret? ken jū giv?
- yeah, sure, here you go.
- thank jū. great guys, srazu dali. ne to što. Jū hier hoļidej?
- yes.
- jū laik Riga?
- yes, it's nice.
- whēr jū from?
- we're Latvians.
- good. good.
- Do you enjoy Riga?
- jēs, džoint very gūd. kanža gūd. so whēr jū from?
- Saulkrasti.
- Latvija Saulkrasti?
- yes, yes.
- latvieši? a po russki razgovarivajesh?
- tak čuķ čuķ. ja ņemonožku umeju po russki. |
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| get your crap together |
[Apr. 15th, 2017|04:27 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | indifferent | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | none | ] |
- My darling, just stop, or you'll need help soon enough!
- Nonsense, I'm perfectly fine!
- Oh, you're, aren't you?! That's why you're isolating yourself, because you're FINE. You ignore phone calls, you have muted all your whatsapp chats and you decline all the invitations to go out.
- But,..
- I'm not finished! You've started keeping things from your bff. You rather write a post, then share your troubles with her. You've picked up that habit of talking to yourself again.. even now. And you've spent a whole hour contemplating theoretical death related issues, like - how a suicidal organ donor can ensure for his organs to be harvested soon enough to be viable, whilst not getting saved.
- Well, it's not the same as contemplating a suicide, you know.
- I know. But it still reminds me of...
- It's not the same! |
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| busted (by myself) |
[Apr. 14th, 2017|05:44 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | guardians of the galaxy awesome mixtape #1 | ] |
- kāpēc tu neraksti savu gala darbu?
- um.. because I have a grave matter I have to attend to.
- isn't "A Grave Matter" just a name of the book you're reading? |
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| it's getting too crowded in my head |
[Apr. 13th, 2017|06:46 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | beaten* bet par to vēlāk | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | putnu dziesmas aiz loga un istabā (ja tās tā var nosaukt) | ] |
Kārtējo reizi pati neko nerakstīšu, tik atreferēšu divas izlasītas lietas. (for some inexplicable reason - abas romantisch..)
____________
- Nesaprotu, nu ko Tu viņā esi atradusi?!
- Es vnk viņu mīlu. Un to es atradu nevis viņā, bet sevī.
____________
'Kādu dienu es beidzot saņēmos un aizgāju no sava vīra, pie sava mīļotā, kurš diemžēl neizrādījās tikpat drosmīgs.
Trīs dienas vēlāk es izskrēju no viņa viesnīcas ar asaru pilnām acīm un, neskatoties, kurp eju, saskrējos ar savu vīru. Mēs vienkārši stāvējām un skatījāmies viens uz otru, nesakot ne vārda. Un tad sāka līt lietus. Man nebija lietussarga, bet viņam bija. Viņš piedāvāja man savu elkoni, es izbāzu cauri savu roku. Un tā klusībā mēs gājām.. Kur? Uz mājām, protams.'
____________
Man liekas, kkas tajā ir. |
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| komunikācija level zero |
[Apr. 9th, 2017|01:06 pm] |
we aren't people of many words at home.
we don't talk, don't praise, don't share much. i can't remember a single time my parents telling me they love me or are proud of me. I would probably burst into tears, like I do when something like that happens in the movies or talent shows on TV.
Bet vakar mēs ar tēti bijām pie vecmāmiņas, līmējām viņai tapetes. un es ņēmos ap elektrības kontaktu, kad tētis pateica:
- "Tu tur uzmanīgi! Kgan tev jau ir pieredze.." - atsaucoties uz manu piedzīvojumu ar nogrieztas dakšas ielikšanu kontaktā un metāla vadu satvēršanu, kad man bija apmēram 2 gadi..
- "Hā, bet es neko no tā neatceros."
- "Toties es atceros." - un viņa balsī bija kkas drūms un viņš dīvaini uz mani skatījās.
And that moment felt very intimate and full of parental love.. and even somewhat uncomfortable with so many emotions in the air. |
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[Apr. 7th, 2017|03:03 pm] |
'You say that a lot too,' said Drew.
'What?'
'That you're fine.'
'I am fine.'
'Sarah - that's my psychiatrist friend - has a theory about the word "fine",' he said. 'She thinks it stands for fucked up, insecure, neurotic and emotional.'
/Pamela Hartshorne "Time's Echo"/ |
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[Apr. 6th, 2017|01:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Spotify - Daily Mix | ] |
- "You know that some women just need to have a fella or they're miserable?"
Like Yolanda. - "Yes".
- "Well there's others that don't ever want a man. And then others have times when what they need is to be alone. Maybe this is your alone time."
/Pamela Schoenewaldt "Swimming in the Moon"/ |
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[Apr. 2nd, 2017|08:56 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | unworldly | ] |
- Kā jau visiem bērniem man patīk vilcienā braukt "ar aizmuguri uz priekšu"..
- Sofija, Tev ir 27 gadi. |
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| great |
[Feb. 28th, 2017|06:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | headache | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | radiotev.lv | ] |
- mums biežāk jāfilmē šādi mini video.
- kāpēc?
- jo ja mēs nomirsim, cilvēkiem būs kā mūs atcerēties. |
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| all the small choices again |
[Feb. 10th, 2017|08:28 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | more tired every day | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | watching GA | ] |
- how do you choose between practicing procedures under endoscopic control on a paprika and assisting on a cat hip fracture fixation with a plate?
- i don't know.
- neither do i.
- so what did you choose? |
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| thoughts in a shower |
[Feb. 5th, 2017|11:06 pm] |
- ja cilvēcei būtu atlikusi viena diena līdz pasaules galam, ko tu darītu?
- pff. nēz, nolektu no augstceltnes, lai velti neizšķērstu savu laiku, what's the point really? Lai ko tu darītu - tam nav jēgas. Spend more time with your family or people you love - pirmkārt nožēlosi, ka nedarīji to agrāk.. un neizbēgamais šķitīs briesmīgāks.. Darīt kko selfish, enjoying yourself.. For what? Vai piedzertos un ļautos bezgalīgām orģijām. Hm, heroīns varētu būt laba ideja.. Or just try to sleep it off, varbūt tomēr prokatit? BET vienmēr esmu gribējusi zināt, ko tu jūti īsi pirms sašķīsti pret betonu?
***
- bija tāda filma 'Seeking a Friend for the End of the World'.
- kāpēc "bija"? IR
- whatever. |
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| Krankenhaus spielen |
[Feb. 4th, 2017|11:46 pm] |
- how do you know - you're doing the right thing with your life?
- you just feel pumped. you do a 16-hour-shift, and feel so energized, you're practically dancing inside. And you want more. MORE!!
UPD. On another glance - THIS IS what I expect from a guy, this feeling of being mentally challenged at every step, a feeling of things naturally falling into order, and the immeasurable vitality flowing through my vessels.
UPD2: Working not stop for 16 hour really helps with not thinking yourself into insanity.. |
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[Jan. 22nd, 2017|12:29 am] |
- Sofija, you are totally misunderstanding Tinder. You should write to people in your proximity, so you could meet them. Not chatting with the people you sort of avoided before, now when there are miles between you (to be precise 984 km), and ignore all the new people in 1 km radius. You do you even "like" them if you're planning to ignore them? |
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[Jan. 7th, 2017|02:57 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | ūberlazy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | radiotev.lv | ] |
- Ir 2 brīvdienas un nākamajās 2 nedēļās tādu nebūs.. BET all i want to do - ir gulēt gultā zem segas un lasīt grāmatu.
- What about checking out the city??
- Rīt.
- Nu labi. What about food? Rīt visi veikali būs ciet. un pirmdien labi, ja atbrīvosies līdz 19iem.
- arghh. You're such a killjoy!! Did I mention - it's too cold?
- Too cold to eat??
p.s. it's only been a week and you're already talking to yourself, congrats! |
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| ko Sofija dzirdēja |
[Sep. 7th, 2016|11:23 pm] |
- Mammu.. pagājušajā gadā, kad es biju trešajā klasē, es nemaz nepamanīju, cik ātri skrien laiks.
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- Ja, es vēl kādreiz izdomāju iet un kko studēt, vnk aproc mani kkur.. mežā.. vnlg kur..
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- Vācijā kursā ir ap 200 cilvēkiem, ja ne vairāk, te mēs esam 13, tātad izglītības kvalitāte daudz labāka.
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- Jums te ir Copy-shop vai kkas tamlīdzīgs, kur es varētu skeneri izmantot?
- Kam Tev skeneris? man ir telefonā skenera aplikācija, skaties...
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bija vēl kkas bet pēkšņi aizmirsu. atcerēšos - ierakstīšu.. |
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| darling, you should really go out more |
[Jun. 4th, 2016|07:47 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | girls [tv show] | ] |
So a very funny thing happened.
There I was having a perfectly nice conversation with a handsome male specimen at a book yard sale, where I exchanged my old books for some new ones.. Among my old ones were some architecture books, that were just dusting on the shelves, but where to beautiful and pricey just to through away, so after my attempt to decluster my life they just ended up in a pile on the floor for last couple of months.
Anyway - they started a conversation about how the architecture didn't work out for me and for a slight change in a career path took change.. blah blah blah.. words after word. and then he asks: "So what are you in Latvia for? Studies?"
And I'm like [Whut?? in my head]: Duh, I'm from here.
And then he says with a smile: "Tad jau mēs mierīgi varam runāt latviski." (plus he complimented my pronunciation. blushing. he had no suspicions about my origin, and to be honest neither did I about his) |
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| STOP the Denial |
[Mar. 21st, 2016|11:21 pm] |
you, my friend, should have gone to that funeral. |
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