Iksirugumta (po) rakstīja, @ 2014-02-27 15:44:00 |
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Avots
It's great to be here. I thank you. Ah, I've been on the road doing comedy for ten years now, so bear with me while I plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time.
"Hey buddy, my daddy died for that flag."
"Really? I bought mine. Yeah, they sell them at K-Mart and shit."
"He died in the Korean War."
"Wow, what a coincidence. Mine was made in Korea."
You know, we're fucked up here. I tell you, Satan's going to have no trouble taking over here 'cause all the women are going to say: "What a cute butt." "He's Satan!" "You don't know him like I do." "He's the Prince of Darkness!" "I can change him."
And don't tell me this is the military that protects our freedom – hey, ladies and gentlemen, there ain't no one out there who's a fucking threat to us. They don't exist. Oh – I'm talking now only of countries we don't arm first. All right, if you want to split hairs, you got a point. "Bill, what about the nations we sell arms to and then blow the fuck out of?" Okay, they might be scary for about a day!
People suck, and that's my contention. I can prove it on a scratch of paper with a pen. Give me a fucking Etch-a-sketch, I'll do it in three minutes. The proof, the fact, the factorum. I'll show my work, case closed. I'm tired of this back-slapping "isn’t humanity neat?" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes, okay? That's all we are.
I'm going to share with you a vision that I had, because I love you. And you feel it. You know all that money we spend on nuclear weapons and defense each year, trillions of dollars, correct? Instead -- just play with this -- if we spent that money feeding and clothing the poor of the world -- and it would pay for it many times over, not one human being excluded -- we can explore space together, both inner and outer, forever in peace. Thank you very much. You've been great, I hope you enjoyed it.
etc.
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