vienmeer, kad man uzlabojas garstaavoklis un es saaku justies viegi un mieriigi, taa ka beidzot var noveersties no ieksheejaas draamas un pieveerst skatu pasaulei un taas skaistumam, taa pasaule redzeslokaa it kaa nejaushi, totaali nevainiigi un teju absurdi, banaali, pateetiski, ljoti ljoti nejaushi un maigi, taa it kaa tas tur vienmeer buutu bijis iespljauj kaut kaadu trigeri, kas atkal liek noveersties no pasaules un nolemti skatiities ieksheejaa bezdibenii. why tho

but i guess this is the pattern that is my life.

pasaule, man ir apnicis tas kaa tu mistiski paveers manu skatienu par milimetra simtdalju tieshi taa, lai es ieraudziitu ko taadu kas visu maina, vai kaa tu bowowow cik mistiski uztaisi manai apzinjai taadu izejas lenjkji, lai mana uzmaniiba pieliip taadam vai shitaadam dajebkaadam spacetime punktam vai idejai, un ka tu liec man izdariit ko taadu, kas izraisa kaut ko naakamo, kas atkal visu maina. tiranizeetaajs, bezgodis.

un peec visa tu man liec domaat, ka viss ir svariigi un vienaldziigi reizee. taa ir kaa man paraleeli ir jaadziivo taa it kaa buutu vitaali svariigi izsekot visiem taviem maajieniem un milimetriigajiem uzmaniibas veershanas lenjkjiem, kameer kaut kaadaa spokainaa 'aarpus' taa viss ir gaistoshs sapnis, un katrs izsekoshanas kvests is nothing in itself, empty, totally void, with an expiration date stamped all over

un es gan gribu gan negribu lai viss ir gaistoshs sapnis. un es gan zinu gan nezinu, ka viss gan ir gan nav gaistoshs sapnis, un ka shii nenoteiksme ir pati dziives, dziivoshanas, shejienes, manis, paaules, eksistences essence.

bet tikuntaa. katru reizi kad kaut kas notiek.. tu man saki 'shis ir monumentaali un dzilji un ar unikaalu jeegu, ej tajaa iekshaa, visa pasaule, visa bezgaliiba no taa ir dramatiski atkariiga, patieshaam es tev saku no tevis ir atkariiga pasaule, tici un ej un transfigureejies!', lai jau naakamjaa briidii tu paviipsnaajot nomurminaatu, 'a tas? nee.. ko tu, gljuks, srsly.. did you really think'

tu pataisi visu kas ir sveets par koshleni uz asfalta, un jebkuru koshleni uz asfalta par kaut ko bezgaliigi sveetu. this is not a nurturing environment.

pasaule, It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you
But when we are apart, I feel it too
And no matter what I do, I feel the pain
With or without you

pasaule, I don't understand
Just why we can't be lovers
Things are getting out of hand
Trying too much, but pasaule we can't win

Let it go
If you want me pasaule, let me know
I am down, on my knees
I can't take it anymore

It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you
But when we are apart, I feel it too
And no matter what I do, I feel the pain
With or without you

pasaule, don't mis-understand (don't misunderstand)
What I'm trying to tell ya
In the corner of my mind (corner of my mind)
pasaule, it feels like we're running out of time

Let it go
If you want me pasaule, let me know
I am down, on my knees
I can't take it anymore

It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you
But when we are apart, I feel it too
And no matter what I do, I feel the pain
With or without you

Tearin' up my heart and soul
We're apart I feel it too
And no matter what I do, I feel the pain
With or without you

Tearin' up my heart and soul (alright)
We're apart I feel it too (I feel it too)
And no matter what I do, I feel the pain
With or without you

It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you
But when we are apart, I feel it too
And no matter what I do, I feel the pain
With or without you

And no matter what I do, I feel the pain
With or without you