| Father Ted | 8. Nov 2009 @ 01:14 |
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Father Ted: I know what's going on, Pat Mustard. There are some very hairy babies on Craggy Island, and I think you are the hairy baby-maker.
Pat Mustard: Oh, yeah? Well, I think that you would need proof if you were going to make that sort of an accusation. And I'm a very careful man, Father. A very careful man!
Father Ted: Except when it comes to taking precautions in the bedroom.
Pat Mustard: Ah, w-... you certainly wouldn't be advising the use of artificial contraception now, Father, would you?
Father Ted: Yes, I... well... if you're going to be... of course you will... JUST FECK OFF!
Father Ted: Dougal, you can't sit around here watching television all day - chewing gum for the eyes!
Father Dougal: Oh no thanks Ted, I've got these crisps, here.
Father Ted: That's the great thing about Catholicism - it's very vague and no-one knows what its really all about.
Mrs Doyle: What would you say to a cup father?
[offers him a cup of tea]
Father Jack Hackett: FECK OFF, CUP!
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| http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSoHkadTAxc | 15. Aug 2009 @ 22:30 |
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food critic: you are slow for someone working in a fast lane?
chef: you are thin for someone who likes food.
(pause)
food critic (harshly): I don`t like food. I LOVE it. And if i don`t LOVE it, i DON`T SWALLOW!
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| Watchmen | 2. Aug 2009 @ 16:45 |
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Rorschach: [reading from journal] Rorschach's Journal. October 12th, 1985: Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll whisper "no."
Dan Dreiberg: What happened to us? What happened to the American Dream?
Edward Blake: "What happened to the American Dream?" It came true! You're lookin' at it...
Osterman: In my opinion, the existence of life is a highly overrated phenomenon.
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| visgarākā nosaukuma filma, kas jelkad ir nominēta oskaram kā labākā filma | 16. Jul 2009 @ 23:45 |
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- Dr. Strangelove: Of course, the whole point of a Doomsday Machine is lost, if you *keep* it a *secret*! Why didn't you tell the world, EH?
- Ambassador de Sadesky: It was to be announced at the Party Congress on Monday. As you know, the Premier loves surprises.
***
- President Merkin Muffley: I will not go down in history as the greatest mass-murderer since Adolf Hitler.
- General "Buck" Turgidson: Perhaps it might be better, Mr. President, if you were more concerned with the American People than with your image in the history books.
***
- President Merkin Muffley: You mean people could actually stay down there for a hundred years?
- Dr. Strangelove: It would not be difficult, Mein Führer. Nuclear reactors could - heh, I'm sorry, Mr. President - nuclear reactors could provide power almost indefinitely.
***
[Strangelove's plan for post-nuclear war survival involves living underground with a 10:1 female-to-male ratio]
- General "Buck" Turgidson: Doctor, you mentioned the ratio of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn't that necessitate the abandonment of the so-called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned?
- Dr. Strangelove: Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious... service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.
- Ambassador de Sadesky: I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor.
***
(Dr. Strangelove apparently suffers from agonistic apraxia (also known as "alien hand syndrome"), a real neurological affliction that can be caused by a stroke or other brain injury causing damage to the nerve fibers that connect the two brain hemispheres (the corpus callosum). Researchers at the University of Aberdeen who identified it named it Dr. Strangelove Syndrome. According to Professor Sergio Della Sala, the patients behave exactly like Dr. Strangelove: "...They slam their hand and shout 'My hand does things that I don't want it to do!'")
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| The Libertine (2004) | 8. Jul 2009 @ 18:00 |
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"But life is not a succession of urgent nows.
It is a listless trickle of Why should I's." |
| » Il Bisbetico domato - Укрощение строптивого* |
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* filmu esmu redzējusi tikai tulkotu krievu valodā
— Ты на самом деле такой или просто притворяешься?…
— Я такой. Просто — притворяюсь.
— Сколько вам лет?
— Не помню.
— Я бы дал меньше...
— Ты женоненавистник, хам, грубиян, самодур…
— Из этого всего я делаю вывод, что ты в меня влюбилась.
— Ну и вечерок выдался. Собственная собака ставит мне мат. Ваши брызги намочили мне рубашку. Можете разговаривать, но я вас не слушаю.
4. Jul 2009 @ 23:03
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| » 2 Days in Paris |
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Marion: There's a moment in life where you can't recover any more from another break-up. And even if this person bugs you sixty percent of the time, well you still can’t live without him. And even if he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face, well you love his sneezes more than anyone else's kisses.
Jack: Can I use this thermometer?
[puts it in the mouth]
Marion: I usually don't use this one in the mouth. I mean...
Jack: Oh, come on! What is wrong with you?
Marion: What? It's a french thermometer.
Jack: Are you 5? You still use the thermometer up your ass?
Marion: It's not your dick that's too big for French condoms. It's your ego that's too big for French condoms. And... and Italian, too.
4. Jul 2009 @ 14:39
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| » Гараж |
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— У него жена больная, а у меня — невеста… Здоровая!
— Неподкупная моя, вовремя предать — это не предать, а предвидеть.
— «Я вам покажу». Что вы нам покажете?
— Он вам всё покажет!
— Мы вам ничего не позволим показывать! Мы вам сами всё покажем!
— Жизнь состоит из одних вопросов. А так хочется, чтобы она состояла из одних ответов.
4. Jul 2009 @ 13:39
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| » Полёты во сне и наяву |
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- Вот сидят две женщины, одинаково дорогие для меня. С одной меня ничего не связывает,
кроме долга, с другой все, кроме долга.
- На что играем?
- На ку—ку.
- Что?
- Ку—ку.
- Сколько раз?
- Пять.
Oļegs Jankovskis
23.02.1944 - 20.05.2009
20. Maijs 2009 @ 12:18
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| » Meklēju vudija filmu -Help! |
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Eu, nekādi nevaru atsaukt atmiņā tās filmas nosaukumu (rež. Vudijs Allens), kurā Vudija tēlam ir māsa (filmas kontekstā totāli sekundārs tēls), kas stāsta savu kaunpilno piedzivojumu ar liktenīgo vīrieti. proti, jamējā ir izmisīgā vīrieša meklēšanas procesā, visu laiku sūdzas brālim par saviem neveiksmīgajiem mēģinājumiem, līdz beidzot uzraujas uz vienu, kas ir tik brīnišķīgs, ka lēdija jau ļaujas nokļūti līdz guļamistabai. Dzīves prozaika ir tāda, ka the Lieliskais viņu piesien pie gultas un atstāj tur guļam, pirms tam nokārtojot dabiskās vajadzības uz lēdijas atkailinātās miesas (tas netiek rādīts, tas tiek atstāstīts). Nu lūk - kurā filmā tas bija?!
15. Apr 2009 @ 00:30
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| » (No Subject) |
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Cornelia Bullock: You can't go on like this forever. You really like me and you're afraid to admit it, aren't you?
Godfrey: You want me to tell you what I REALLY think of you?
Cornelia Bullock: Please do.
Godfrey: As Smith or as a butler?
Cornelia Bullock: Choose your own weapon.
Godfrey: You won't hold it against me?
Cornelia Bullock: It's your day off.
Godfrey: Very well. You belong to that unfortunate category that I would call the "Park Avenue brat". A spoiled child who's grown up in ease and luxury... who's always had her own way... and who's misdirected energies are so childish that they hardly deserve the comment, even of a butler on his off Thursday.
Angelica Bullock: Oh, Alexander, you missed all the excitement.
Alexander Bullock: What's going on?
Angelica Bullock: Oh, let me see. I knew what it was I wanted to say, but somehow it slipped my mind.
Alexander Bullock: What's the matter with Irene?
Angelica Bullock: Oh, yes, that's it. Irene's got herself engaged!
Alexander Bullock: To whom?
Angelica Bullock: Oh, I don't know, Van something-or-other. I think he's the boy with his arm around that girl in pink. He's got lots of money.
Alexander Bullock: Well, he'll need it.
Angelica Bullock: You mustn't come between Irene and Godfrey. He's the first thing she's shown any affection for since her pomeranian died last summer.
Angelica Bullock: If you're going to be rude to my daughter, you might as well at least take your hat off!
Angelica Bullock: What happened, what did you say to Carlo?
Alexander Bullock: I said goodbye.
Angelica Bullock: Did he go?
Alexander Bullock: Yes he left very hurriedly through the side window
Irene: I went to Venice, and one night I went for a ride in one of those rowboats that the man pushes with a stick. Not a matador. That was in Spain. But something like a matador.
Godfrey: Do you, by any chance, mean a gondolier?
Irene: That was the name of the boat!
Irene: You have a wonderful sense of humor. I wish I had a sense of humor, but I can never think of the right thing to say until everybody's gone home.
Blake: Take a look at the dizzy old gal with the goat.
Alexander Bullock: I've had to look at her for 20 years - that's MRS. Bullock!
Blake: I'm terribly sorry!
Alexander Bullock: How do you think I feel?
9. Apr 2009 @ 00:13
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| » (No Subject) |
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Labākos citātus neieliku - tas ir jāredz pašiem. iesaku, vispirms noskatīties veco nopietno versiju un tad uz reiz šito - ir nenormāli labi!
[Froederick and Igor are exhuming a dead criminal]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What a filthy job.
Igor: Could be worse.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: How?
Igor: Could be raining.
[it starts to pour]
Inga: Werewolf!
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Werewolf?
Igor: There.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What?
Igor: There, wolf. There, castle.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: For the experiment to be a success, all of the body parts must be enlarged.
Inga: His veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Exactly.
Inga: He vould have an enormous schwanzstucker.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: That goes without saying.
Inga: Voof.
Igor: He's going to be very popular.
vēlāk: [Upon seeing the monster's manhood]
Elizabeth: Oh my God. Woof.
Inga: You haven't even touched your food.
[Frederick explodes and slaps on his food]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: There. Now I've touched it. Happy?
The Monster: [picks last petal off a flower and throws it into the well]
Little Girl: Now throw a kiss and say "Bye bye."
The Monster: [throws kiss, waves, and grunts "bye bye"]
Little Girl: Oh dear. Nothing left. What shall we throw in now?
31. Mar 2009 @ 11:41
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| » (No Subject) |
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Philip Marlowe: Nobody cares but me.
Terry Lennox: Well that's you, Marlowe. You'll never learn, you're a born loser.
Philip Marlowe: Yeah, I even lost my cat.
[Augustine has found a $5000 bill in Marlowe's pocket]
Marty Augustine: What's that?
Philip Marlowe: A picture of James Madison.
Marty Augustine: It's a $5000 bill.
Philip Marlowe: I know.
Marty Augustine: Where'd you get this?
Philip Marlowe: A box of crackerjacks, came as a prize.
27. Mar 2009 @ 00:02
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| » (No Subject) |
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Countess Alexandrovna: You are the greatest lover I've ever had.
Boris: Well, I practice a lot when I'm alone.
Mother: He'll go and he'll fight, and I hope they will put him in the front lines.
Boris: Thanks a lot, Mom. My mother, folks.
Sonja: There are many different kinds of love, Boris. There's love between a man and a woman; between a mother and son...
Boris: Two women. Let's not forget my favorite.
Boris: We have to take our possessions and flee. I'm very good at that. I was the men's freestyle fleeing champion two years in a row.
Sonja: What are you suggesting, passive resistance?
Boris: No, I'm suggesting active fleeing.
Sonja: Oh, Boris, I'm so unhappy.
Boris: Ohh, I wish you weren't.
Sonja: Voskovec and I quarrel frequently. I've become a scandal.
Boris: Poor Sonja.
Sonja: For the past weeks, I've visited Seretski in his room
Boris: Why? What's in his room? Oh...
Sonja: And before Seretski, Aleksei, and before Aleksei, Alegorian, and before Alegorian, Asimov, and...
Boris: Okay!
Sonja: Wait, I'm still on the A:s.
Boris: How many lovers do you have?
Sonja: In the mid-town area?
18. Mar 2009 @ 23:00
|
| » Fawlty Towers |
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Basil: [to nurse] Don't touch me! I don't know where you've been. [Gets put back into bed] My god, you're ugly!
Nurse: I'll go and fetch the doctor.
Basil: It's not a doctor, it's a plastic surgeon you need dear.
(from the Episode "The Germans")
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Gg3cSIfYWc4
Sybil about her mother's phobias:
"She's a worrier. She has these, well, morbid fears they are really...vans is one...rats, doorknobs, birds, open spaces...confined spaces, it's very difficult getting the space right for her really, you know...Footballs, bicycles, cows..and she's always on about men following her..I don't know what she thinks they're going to do to her....vomit on her, Basil says..."
(from the Episode "The Psychiatrist")
http://youtube.com/watch?v=attWI5Z_pok
Basil: There is your bath.
Mrs Richards: You call that a bath? It's not big enough to drown a mouse. It's disgraceful.
Basil: [muttering to himself] I wish you were a mouse, I'd show you.
(from the Episode "Communication Problems")
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Vsm3FObZ1sI
Viens no labākajiem britu TV sitcom Fawlty Towers.
12. Jun 2008 @ 22:53
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| » Šahs briljantu karalienei (1973) |
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Noziedznieces Grūbes (L. Freimane) un milicijas kapteiņa (G. Cilinskis) saruna:
- Tādam vīrietim pretoties būtu pēdējā muļķība.
- Tā skrienot jūsu vecumā, var dabūt infarktu.
- Un jūs tad būtu bēdīgs?
G. Cilinskis izmeklētājai:
- Biedrene Dolmane, viņi brauc uz kalniem, ko mēs varētu pasākt?
Šahs briljantu karalienei
Šahs briljantu karalienei (video - ru)
18. Feb 2008 @ 19:50
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| » (No Subject) |
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- Bet vai ta' man? Nu ne jau man...
- Bet vai ta' man?
29. Jan 2008 @ 11:50
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| » Брат-2 |
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- Страна козлов и баранов! Голосуешь за худого, глядь - через год сидит в телевизоре кабан, рожа, что жопа и еще меня учит, как жить! В нашем поколении дебилов меньше было. Что же это такое? Ведь бы- ли же люди как люди и вдруг все стали кретины!
- Welcome to the United States.
- Сэнкью вэри мач! Вот уроды!..
- Вот скажи мне, американец, в чём сила? Разве в деньгах? Вот и брат говорит, что в деньгах. У тебя много денег, и чего?.. Я вот думаю, что сила в правде. У кого правда - тот и сильней. Вот ты обманул кого-то, денег нажил, и чего, ты сильней стал? Нет - не стал! Потому что правды за тобой нет! А тот, кого обманул, за ним правда. Значит, он сильней. Да?!
- Да...
- Думать меньше надо, а соображать больше.
23. Okt 2007 @ 02:37
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| » Джентельмены удачи |
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- Девушка, а девушка, а как вас зовут?
- Таня.
- А меня Федя.
- Ну и дура.
- А может хватит ромашка играть? Тут помню, тут не помню...
- Памятник сидячий?
- О деревня, а?.. Ну ты даёшь! Кто ж его посадит?! Он же памятник!
- Деточка! А вам не кажется, что ваше место возле параши?!
- Эй, гражданина! Ты туда не ходи - ты сюда ходи. А то снег башка попадёт - совсем мёртвый будешь...
- Кушать подано, садитесь жрать, пожалуйста!
3. Okt 2007 @ 01:24
|
| » Desperado |
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Short Bartender: What do you want?
Buscemi: Beer
Short Bartender: All I got is piss-warm chango.
Buscemi: That's my brand. Oh, this is damn good! Say, this is the best beer I've ever had. Actually, I'm just glad to be alive right now. I was up a few towns away... you know Saragosa? I was visiting a bar there, not unlike this one. They serve beer... not quite as good as this, but close. And I saw something you wouldn't believe. (..) So, I'm sitting there. And in walks the biggest Mexican I have ever seen. Big as shit. Just walks right in like he owns the place. And nobody knew quite what to make of him... or quite what to think. There he was and in he walked. He was dark too. I don't mean dark-skinned. No, this was different. It was if he was always walking in a shadow. I mean every step he took toward the light, just when you thought his face was about to be revealed... it wasn't. It was as if the lights dimmed, just for him.
El Mariachi: Carolina, did I thank you?
Carolina: No.
El Mariachi: I will.
27. Sep 2007 @ 23:18
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