ok. at least here i feel safe :)
that this bastard won't read, what i have written. or his friends. cause in livejournal everyone seems to know everyone. especially if you are related to one small country and live in moscow. aaaargh! think will move out of livejournal and instead post entries here.
right. i don't understand men. but i am not going to start hating them. neither i am going to start thinking all men are evil just because you, asshole, are trying to be this to me. lalalala :P ohhh, i am so happy i went to poland and spent almost a week at home in minsk, as had to apply in advance for my free visa. haven't talked, haven't received your smses :D felt okay, because i knew i couldn't.

this is so fucking mean to have a girlfriend, you are not going to break up with and declaring to be just friends with me at the same time to... ahhh how do i put it? ok, it's not like he behaved that we are just friends. i didn't care for him for the half a year i knew him, which was not quite the opposite from his side, but for some reason he liked me more than i liked him. okay, basically we just met at some conference at my uni and i thought he was so boring, i didn't really try to communicate to him much. now, that he has been initiating contact with me all the time, i got used to him and even liked him. although none of my friends actually does. cause he is boring. it's stupid. i would either date him or not talk to him. cause as a friend he is so lame. i don't know why i think he will be okay as a boyfriend. no idea. i am confused. he confused me. sending me smses every day, asking me why i wasn't replying, if i wasn't, then sending more than 10 sms a day to each other each. i don't communicate that much with my friends. ok. it's clear to me why i am doing this, or rather was doing this- cause i like him or liked him hehehe. why was he doing this, i never sent him messages first, sometimes i didn't reply, and he is asking like: ohh, why am i ignored, what's wrong. i could have told him that one more sms and i will kill you and your girlfriend, but i didn't. ok, so why is he doing this if he has his girlfriend (oh, she is so dumb, i know her sooo fucking dumb!), he obviously stays with, likes her better. and now he is pissed off i am not flirting with him or not paying all my attention to him, but now, thanks god, i feel it's just a waste of time. now i understand i was confused and i came back to where i had been before this craziness which started just a month ago.
and he is pissed off. well, i wasn't happy about his girlfriend then. but i think it's for the better, cause i wasn't in love, and now i wouldn't want to date him. and i don't want to keep with this smses and talking, cause i am bored, but we are kind of close friends now, which is ridiculous, of course.

still confused though
although it's obviously getting better