ahh, žeņiaļskijs par ssn:


Sky Sports News have just released the latest instalment in the Fernando Torres transfer saga. The helicopter is currently stuck at the Morrison's Belle Vale petrol station on Besford Road. The pilot landed earlier to fill up his tank as he didn't have enough fuel to make it to Cobham for his meeting with Chelsea officials. After filling the tank the pilot noticed that he had filled it up with diesel and the helicopter would not start. The AA are currently at the scene trying to syphon the fuel out and get the chopper airborne again.

The police have made enquiries about a possible sabotage conspiracy as one bystander said they had seen Jamie Carragher swapping the pump handles around just before the arrival of the helicopter. Staff at the Morrison's petrol station declined to comment and said that all CCTV footage had mysteriously disappeared after Carragher left the store after purchasing a can of Fanta.

Rest assured that we are not fabricating the truth regarding this matter, these are actual facts. We are an honest organisation and would never tell lies and advertise bullshit just to get viewers and pretend we know what we're talking about.