Right now I feel invisible to you....
Tonight wasn't that great. Sorry. Heather was the best part. She was the one who made me laugh that most. Julia came in 2nd though. I hugged everyone bye and came home. Yelled at my mom beacuse she thinks the way I'm acting now is not good. Yelled at her for teh first time in a while and it felt good. She's all about me just as soon after going out with Mer for almost 2 fucking years to just get up and date other guys but SORRY MOM BUT NO...that's not how it works..::sigh:: okay so here's the story ..yes I've "dated" two guys after Bear but for Bear I backed off both of them...I broke up with him the first two times to make his friends happy and the last time it was my selfishness...and where does it get me NO WHERE. I fucking ry to make others fucking happy instead of my own as always and it always gives me SHIT. That's it no more putting everyone before ME. It's going to be ME ME ME before anyone else. agh..no that's not how it's going to be b/c I always say that and it never happens..oh well I tried.I want to talk to someone tonight. but i don't think I can ...really i don't think I should. it only hurts me. my mom hates merrit now. that sucks. she said he's not allowed in my room anymore. I yelled at her and told her she was ridiculous for even saying that. Why do I take up for him you ask? cause i love him. ::sigh:: but she won't go through with it... I yelled her some more for not being like my friend's parents because I can talk to other's parents so normally but if I talk to her ....it's like trying to... teach the stupidest kid in the world german....ah...well off to chat online to people who care...maybe..