Jesus doesn't want me for a sunbeam
""Jesus Wants Me For A Sunbeam" was the song taught to children as part of the Sunbeams church program. It refers to shining the light of Jesus through your own life. It goes, "Jesus wants me for a sunbeam to shine for him each day; in every way try to please Him: at home, at school, at play..." The style and words of the song were consistent with patenting, school and church value systems in the era it was most popular. The song is longer, and it is affirming that Jesus cares for and values children. When I heard / saw Kurt sing the song on the MTV unplugged version I was struck by several facts. First, Kurt spent some time as a teenager living with an Evangelical Christian family and supposedly became a born-again Christian during that time. Sometimes people expect this to solve their problems. Kurt suffered from depression - it is obvious in his work and his life ended in a suicide and a note that shows just how depressed he was. Sadly, I think Kurt was angry at God. I think he wanted to be bright and "easily amused" (as All Apologies says). He was not. He was full of emotional turmoil. Hearing the sunbeam song (the real one) sounds ridiculous in such a state. So I think that's why he sang this parody. He doesn't feel he could ever be a sunbeam, and if he can't why would anybody (including Jesus) want him."