You know, I've always thought that one of the most serious defects of the human body was that you couldn't close your ears. You can't point them anywhere or close them, they just sort of hang there on the sides of your head. But an acupuncturist explained to me that the pressure points in the ears are very important because the whole body is represented right there in the ear. The ears, he said, are vestigial fetuses, little versions of yourself, one male and one female, and he showed me here's the lobe, that's the miniature upside down head, and this curve here is the spine, and right here are the little genitals, and that was when I went back to wearing hats.

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