poem: separation (from self) anxiety
she went about her days unfazednineteen long years of calm unquiet in her headand then she met himher mind blossomedand grew like she never imaginedbecause of himshe finally understood this thing called happinessnot only at this shared intimacy she'd never knownbut also at finding bits of herself she didn't know were there.she's tried to cling to this happinessevery day she triesbut he's gonenot forever, but not with herand he will come backbut it seems to her as ifthose bits she foundwent with him.oh yes, she's grown in different waysways that might not have happened if he were with herbut that doesn't matter to herall that matters is that she's sufferingand it's nobody's fault but her own.it's her own perceptions that are crippling hershe realizes this, knows this to be truebut changing the way one thinks isn't easyit's not smooth, or comfortableor even a satisfying processit's painful, and roughand there's no one to help her but herself.and so she tries to find the strengthto get through another dayto continue to look inside herselfto look inside and not be dammed by own perceptions.(note: it's really not so bad right now, but i have felt pretty much like this for the last year. like this, and...just lost. but it's getting better!!)