"You must be this tall to join the Nazi party".

Despite these accomplishments, he was most famous for having led Germany as an Axis power through World War II,[1] or as he referred to it, The European World Tour 1939-1945, when he liberated Poland from Jewish influence, liberated France from incompetent rulers, and liberated Austria from itself. Notably, he also tried to liberate Russia from Communism and Britain from its collapsing Third World imperialism, but was unable to do so.

Some historians suggest Hitler may have felt cramped inside his mother's womb, giving way to his later resentment of foreigners invading his already cramped space in Europe. It has also been suggested that the insides of Hitler's mom were not diverse enough, contributing to his later xenophobia.

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Little_Adolf%27s_School_Report

Hitler was seated next to a Polish boy and a French boy, and one day when the teacher was off in the teacher's lounge, he beat them up and tried to take their desks away because, he said, he needed more room to work on his math homework. However, when he tried to beat up Ivan, the exchange student from Moscow, young Adolf ended up with a black eye. A nearby American kid stepped in to help restore order, but only after the fight had already gone on for twenty minutes.

FIRST, WE TAKE FRANCE! AND THEN, WE FIND NEMO!

Hitler not only promised to destroy the Versailles Peace Treaty, but also destroy all inferior races and take over the world. Unfortunately, everyone thought he was only mucking around when he said this.

To make a very long story short, the coup failed after the group burst into Bürgerbräukeller, a beer hall, armed with squirt guns.

Hitler penned "Mein Kampf" (My Convulsions)

Years later, an unfinished sequel titled "Mein Kampfy Chair" would be uncovered

After his release, Hitler was court ordered to attend two AA meetings a week and was placed on probation. He was on probation from his release until his death in 1945.

Among this cast were korspe's for hire, such as the Frei Korpses.

There is more to the story of how Hitler came to power. His major nemesis, Adolf Schmitler von Knorring, was an Austrian doctor. Schmitler was a rather successful doctor, and was able to publish his memoirs about his work, "My Cough". His book was very popular with cardiologists, but it had little effect on the general public.

It is probably true that the Polish generals had taunted Hitler with pictures of Brad Pitt without a shirt.

Shortly thereafter, Hitler began the invasion of France. When asked why, he said, "ze Eiffeil tower vas billt fur ze Germans, and ze French cheese ist smelly."

Hitler committed suicide by going to his local McDonald's and dying of food poisoning

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http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Hitler