100 Ways to annoy Lord Voldemort and get him to hate you at the same time!
1) Say love you
2) Call him Voldy
3) Sing something from the Backstreet Boys
4) Write pointless notes telling him that hes sexy
5) Tell him about which fashion channel he should watch
6) Tell him that his singing in the shower is enough to kill someone with out a curse
7) Remind him that his red eyes are cute and not one bit evil
8) Say that a pizza diet would make him feel better about himself
9) Tell him that this whole kill the muggles thing is just because hes insecure about his feelings for people
10) Say that he needs to stop picking on teenagers just because hes weak doesnt mean that they are
11) Remind him that he doesnt have a wife or girlfriend and never has or never will
12) Show his Death Eaters that hes a half-blood and then leave him to explain why he never told them
13) Talk about random girly things *wink- wink* until you gross him out
14) Ask that if he was the Lord then why he cant walk on water
15) Say that you know what he dreams about and that its not taking over the world and killing muggles *wink- wink*
16) Buy him a pet dragon and hope that it eats him
17) Ask why he doesnt have anger management
18) Ask him why his doesnt has a cool scar.
19) Call him the-man-who-let-the-boy-live
20) Ask did you have a girlfriend, like ever?
21) Tell him you know this great therapist in London.
22) Remind him that he isnt really alive
23) Work cutesy phrases like 'pushing-up-daisies' and 'smooth-as-a-baby's-bottom' into conversation as much as possible.
24) Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy.
25) Throw biscuits at him. Constantly. But dont forget to butter them first.
26) Call him "Champ" or "Tiger." Refer to yourself as "Coach."
27) Politely exclaim now and again that you 'don't know how he can be so afraid of dear old Dumbles'
28) Say he 'looked better under the turban'
29) Start drawing outlandish parallels between his life story and 'Star Wars'. Talk at great length.
30) Knit him things. Really hideous things.
31) When hes off to do his dirty work, pack him sardine snacks in a Power puff girls lunch box. . (A friend gave me that one)
32) Die his boxers or briefs a light tickle me pink color.
33) Roll your eyes during plotting sessions and say things under your breath like 'You're the boss, boss' or 'It's your funeral.'
34) In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drum roll.
35) Sing 'California Dreamin' at the top of your lungs when he's trying to have an 'evil moment'
36) Cuddle him at random moments.
37) Say that robe look is a good one for you.
38) Tel him that showers are just as important as taking over the wizarding world
39) Sing Harry Potter isnt a blotter go Harry Potter! Look at Voldy and say, "What he needs a cheering section Voldy because you arent very good for support."
40) Dance around when Voldy is trying to kill you singing "stop burning bridges and drive off them instead"
41) Everyone knows that they wouldnt miss him anyway.
42) Say Im a crazy Harry Potter fan? What are you?
43) Tell him that he might want to be nicer after all you catch more flies with honey anyway!
44) Make up fake visions and tell him that he took over the Wizarding World but he still has no friends.
45) Say that your washcloth is more evil then him. Because its the color black and hes not.
46) Tell him that you dreamed that he and "Dear old Dumbles" are going out
47) Dress him in a shirt that says, "Harry Potter Fanatic"
48) Sing him the clean up song and say that he makes a big mess
49) Tell him that Harrys Potter is hotter than him
50) Dance around and "signing its raining men" at three AM and Wake Voldy Poo by calling him "cupcake" while singing into a hairbrush
51) Voldy you stole my bra again!
52) Pink is such a good color on you! *say this while squealing high pitched
53) redecorate his room so that its all pink
54) Give him a Harry Potter doll "so he can take his anger out on it."
55) Interpret his dreams at the top of your lungs so his Death Eaters can hear you "Last night you dreamed that you went to Candy Land"