be gracious . . .
A call at night, - L, he says, my angel . . . . the bla bla over my head, response from me - I hate your guts you (censored) why you just do not leave me alone, you are opening my scars and leave the old wounds bleeding again . . . L, he says, I have a cancer . . . stop a flow of my hate, spiritual muteness . . . I have nothing to say, I hate you for all the pain you caused, love you for what I learned through it. I will pray for you my two-sided feeling friend, I will pray for you, for your illness, for the fright echoing in your voice, for your spirit . . . I live with it every day, the thought, this moment can be my last one too . . . thanks God for the beautiful life you are giving to me and my family . . . I pray for my two-sided feeling friend, my ex love, my ex schizophrenic love . . . as you once told me: „You are my conscience and I am your schizophrenic love” . . . there is no schizophrenic love in me no more, but for you, I am still your conscience . . . this is a moment I pray for you . . . a moment of victory, because now you depend from me entirely, I am the only one that still lives in you . . . I pray for that too, not to misuse this power, a power to heal and a power to destroy . . . God be gracious to him, be gracious to L, so that the cancer in him falls far, far away. Be gracious - change the man!