zdv thoughts from 2001, December 21, just from NYC
Change – do we ever change – isn’t there a center of person that never ever changes –like a bone that holds the structure that change but not the center. The more I think about myself as a human being, the more confused I become – not satisfied with the being I see standing in front of me – it’s so alien to the creature I want to be. It’s like permanent torture that sometimes is more obvious and sometimes less, controlled by the third force I do recognize but can’ t cope with – for it’s from outside.
Is it fait of human beings to be tortured by it or is it something we make up to balance our lives between complete happiness and complete misery?