What the ladies want
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"Women only want MONEY, material posessions, and horse-sized penises. If they really wanted men with functioning brains, they would NOT be repeatedly dating celebrities, sports-stars, trailer-trash, slum-dwellers, fashion models, "muscle men", alcoholics, lawyers, or politicians. They would be dating the intellects and the smart folks they used to make fun of in high school.
The only problem with what the ladies want is that they set their (short term) expectations WAY TOO HIGH, WITHOUT THINKING, and it always comes back to haunt them when the hunks they married now beat the crap out of them on a regular basis while spending their paycheck on beer.

The ladies say they want intelligent, sensitive men, but they will NEVER even think of dating them, assuming that women think at all."

Ivan: Dude, I hate that shithead!
Gennady:But he's everything women want...
Ivan: I know!