Dialogi Ar Kādu Neprātīgo [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
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today [Feb. 16th, 2013|01:17 am]
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[Current Music |silence of the night]

it's been a year..
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in my dreams [Jan. 29th, 2013|10:28 am]
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[Current Mood |rīts ar smaidu]

es pamostos un negribīgi atveru savu labo aci. viņš guļ uz blakus esošās gultas un ar savu kreiso aci vēro mani. viņš pasmaida un piemiedz man ar aci, es iemiegu ar smaidu uz lūpām. es pamostos atkal, viņš arī ir iemidzis, es vēroju viņu.. viņš paver savu kreiso aci un kādu brīdi mēģina saprast, kur atrodas, viņa skatiens ceļo pa istabu, tad nonāk līdz manai acij.. un viņš smaida:

- доброе утро!
- доброе...
- ты что это? .. за мной наблюдаешь?
- немного..
- эт' что одним глазом что-ли?
- ага..

un mēs abi smejamies. viņš paceļ no grīdas krāsainu adītu auseni, uzvelk un pārkāpj manā gultā. kko joko par to, ka labi, ka nav pārvērties akmenī, es it kā braucu viņam augumā, ka viņš mēģina mani saukt par medūzu, viņš it kā mani kutina, es it kā aizstāvos ar spilvenu. tad bezspēkā mēs guļam šaurajā gultā smejamies un klausāmies otra saraustītajā elpošanā.

tad es saku, ka man jāizved Gordons un pasaucu viņu līdzi. Pēc nelielas vilcināšanās viņs piekrīt, kā nekā prom viņam jābūt tikai vakarā. ārā mēs pikojamies, bāžam viens otram sniegu aiz apkakles, krītam un ceļamies, klupinam un grūstam viens otru, gandrīz pazaudējam suni. tad dzenājam Gordonu, kurš met savus neprātīgos ātros līkumus. un Viņš smejas un prasa, kas tā par šķirni un sakās, ka arī tādu sev iegādāsies.

atpakaļ mājās.. mēs dzeram tēju virtuvē un viņš saka:

- а поехали со мной? на неделю.. у тебя все равно каникулы?
es samulstu, jo nenormāli gribās, bet es saprotu, ka tas būtu pārgalvīgi..
- я бы с радостью, но не могу. у меня визы нету.
- а зачем тебе?
- ну кто-ж меня в Москву без визы пустит?
- а кто говорил что-либо про Москву? мне вообще-то в Париж.. в город любви..

un mēs lidojam uz Parīzi..
[un tad suns baksta man ar degunu acī, jo mums jāiet ārā, pa īstam..]
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mani nekas vairs nepārsteidz [Dec. 5th, 2012|09:29 pm]
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[Current Mood |morāli izvarota]
[Current Music |mumford and sons - awake my soul]

gāze mikrobioloģijas laboratorijā beidzas reizi trīs gados..
vai tas, ka viņa tā beidzās tieši mūsu grupas labora laikā, mani pārsteidz?
Nē!
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āāāār - row [Nov. 29th, 2012|11:30 pm]
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[Current Mood |excited]

āā.. arrow ar katru sēriju kļūst arvien labāks.. un es lēnām tieku ievilkta neizbēgamos atkarības tīklos.. un drīz jau sezonas beigas.. āāāā..
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need to see John [Nov. 3rd, 2012|05:55 pm]
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[Current Mood |lomkas]

that feeling of emptiness after watching 28 episodes in a row when you have to wait a week to see the 29th.
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joy of living the life i'm living [Oct. 11th, 2012|11:05 pm]
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[Current Mood |satisfied]
[Current Music |adele - skyfall [again & again & again]]

the years of drama are over.. it's time for action. :D var smieties, bet tā sanāk. last movies i've seen on the big screen -> The Dark Knight Rises and The Bourne Legacy. Next one is Skyfall [Gee, I'm going crazy for that one.. for no particular reason. i just can't wait.] Un tagad vēl šis seriāls, kurš savā plotlinā iet pārāk paralēli Betmenam, lai varētu safārēties, bet action is what is not missing there..

Vsp jau life is also about action :D Piem. šodien bija ļoti laba diena, ja neskaita kārtējās 3 h miega, ūberforšās lekcijas un praktisko katastrofu nodarbību, kurā mēs rēķinājām, cik tālu pie konkrētā vēja var izplatīties ķīmiskā saindēšanās mākonis, un vai tas apdraud mūsu fakultāti. Visādi citādi - palpēju un auskultēju vienu kucēnu, divas kaķenes, vienu kaķēnu un vienu zirgu [hā, which i'm kinda proud of - jo es arī tiešām dzirdēju.. gan tikai diastoles, bet still]. tad pati noņēmu sev asinis analīzēm - grupas un rēzusa pārbaudīšanai [ārpus nodarbību laikā.. jo vnk nebija ko darīt :D un tā kā tētim ir negatīvs, gribēju pārliecināties..] un tad did some magic with my scalpel.. i just dig it. taisījām galvas nervu preparātu. pluss tad mājās noskatījos DogTown raidījumu par suni ar vienu sen amputētu kāju, kuram nenormālākās gurnu problēmas, ka īsti vairs nestaigāja, un magic doctor and canine hydrotherapy. So really good day :)

Un vakar rakstījām kolokviju pie Bundzeļa degļiem, kas silda laboratoriju. vsp diezgan gotiska atmosfēra. tādas liesmas uzgrieztas, ka tik lapas nesadedzini.
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schooling system sucks [Jul. 13th, 2012|09:32 pm]
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[Current Mood |sad]
[Current Music |a clash of kings [ab]]

They put psychology on our schedule, but they never really teach it.
What they taught was more about my life as a student, about fighting laziness, planning time, something about my personality.. but what should have taken a point of - was death..

Some said that all we'll have to do is to euthanize more than save lives, but I was alright with euthanasia, because it's stopping the suffering of the poor animal. But I really never thought of the owners. Oh, dear God. There was a woman, who came with her 20 year old cat, looking thin as a fiddle [well worse - skeleton in a skin sack and its intestines just hanging under the skin..] She was ready, well almost, as ready as they get, and she cried.. and I thought I would cry too, but I held it. Today there was a man, whose dog's liver is failing, there's fluid in the abdomen cavity, it's hard for him to breathe, because of the pressure the diaphragm makes on the enlarged liver. And the doctor said he has 50:50 chance, but still she introduced the subject of putting him to sleep, gently, not as a suggestion, but as an anti-suggestion [like -> he asked: is there a point in fighting? and she said: well, you wouldn't put him down now, would you? [or something like that]], but still it was there in the open, spoken out loud. And that 50-something year old man so buoyant and strong yesterday, that man cried, he sobbed, he tried to hide it, he went out on the street now and again, he was ashamed.. And that hurt me to watch.. Because this dog has been his friend for the last 12 years.. his family, him being divorced and having no children. I felt so incredibly sorry for the human, but there being no possible intimacy between us there was nothing I knew to say. no way to reassure him.. And his belief was fading on our eyes, and I believe it's important to believe in the best, because believing in the worst won't do you any good anyway, but believing in the good might make it ok. Well if the dog lives through the night, there still is the 5 day period for liver get back on track.. after that..

Well - my point still is - they should teach you about death.. and why, oh why are people so afraid to talk of it??!!

p.s. besides I have problem with men crying, it makes me feel so powerless and painful and sad..
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Ja kāds izlasīs šo murgu līdz galam... [Jun. 27th, 2012|02:25 pm]
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[Current Mood |slight headache]
[Current Music |birdsongs [again]]

Viss sākās ar to, ka McGregors brida pa zili baltajiem sniegiem oranžu laternu gaismā, tērpies klasiskā Šerloka Holmsa outfitā, viņš meklēja Cūkkārpu [don't ask - I just know - you always know what people think in dreams], kuru arī viņaprāt atrod un ieiet Cūkkārpas mežu teritorijā caur Ogres estrādes ieeju, tikai, saprotams, sniegainu, and that it is the last we see of him in this dream, jo mēs pārceļamies uz pili..

Es esmu mirusi un mans gars revisits the sites of 6th HP, which I must like, because it's my 4th time here.. izņemot pašu pili tur gan nekas potterīgs vairs nav. Toties te ir Jūlija un Arianna, kas uztraucas par manu lack of interest in my personal life un my weird homy hobbies. [but I'm dead so what do I care about my personal life].. un miljons citu cilvēku, bet viņi mani neredz, jo mirušos redz tikai tie, kas vinus redzējuši dzīvē, that's the rule. Attiecībā uz citiem, it's like being in a pensive. Bet neatkarīgi no tā, vai cilvēki mani redz vai nē, viņi katru reizi dara precīzi vienu un to pašu.. un es uzjautāju Jūlijai, vai viņai nav baigā deja'vu sajūta, bet no there isn't..

Then I meet another stuck soul wandering the halls, tikai vēl nesaprotu, ka he's dead too, vnk domāju, ka šis tiešām nav redzēts, bet sees me. While I ponder over this, two babies fall down the stairs [turklat viņi ir Siāmas dvīņi], and a girl yells at this guy: "Go catch them!" But he just stands there with the saddest expression I have ever seen un viņa aizskrien pati.. un kad jau ir uznesusi augšā ierauga lejā kkādu mantiņu mētājamies un grib aiziet pakaļ, so tells the guy: "Can you at least hold them!" Viņš žēlīgi skatās viņai tieši acīs un says: "No I can't! I'm dead! I can't hold anything in your world anymore!" un izbāž roku cauri mazuļiem.. [Te man pieliec, ka viņš arī ir gars un es sāku domāt, vai viņš bieži nāk skatīties kā bērni krīt un vai vnm saka meitenei, ka ir miris..] She tries to touch him un jumps away in fright, when feels no impact, I feel tears running down my cheeks, when suddenly he turns with pain on his face to go away, because he can't stand this anymore, and stops when meets my eyes staring. Un man liekas, ka esmu pieķerta zogot kko verī personal. Tā mēs stāvam, skatoties viens uz otru, līdz es izdzirdu a wizard/healer saying: 'These Tully children are tough!' Šī Game of Thrones atsauce mani atmodināja no stupora un I ran away, but he followed. 'Wait!'

I was well ahead, but stopped when saw two non-identical twins plotting their mischief for the 4th time, this time I decided to teach them a lesson, un told so to my follower, who agreed to help. And we kinda sabojājām visu viņu plānu, so before they fled they shouted: "Jūs pat iedomāties nevarat, ko mēs tagad pasauksim!" Bet kkādā dīvainā kārtā es uzreiz iedomājos vienu kačaku no ĀĢ Māra S. klases un zināju, ka viņš ir īstais, told my guy.. un mēs iegājām kkādā auditorijā, kur šis izdomāja tēlot, ka ir skolotājs, tāpēc skolotāja tēloja, ka atbild kko, kad ielauzās vesels bars ĀĢ cilvēku. Un viss būtu OK, ja pēkšņi neiebrauktu viena velosipēdiste apspīlētā velo tērpā ar sexy body and face of a goddess un nepateiktu: "Skolotāj, milzīgs paldies Jums par visu!!" apskaujot īsto skolotāju. Es domāju - надо делать ноги - kad dzirdēju, kā vienlaicīgi skolotāja teica: "Nu ko tu, Liāna!" un my guy's brain saying slowly: "Lyanna!" Es paskatījos uz viņu un he was in shock unable to move, tad Liāna piegāja pie viņa un teica: "You kept your promise.." un man pēkšņi bija revelation - "džī, that must be young Ned Stark!!" [and that was the last we saw of him]

Tad Liāna pienāca pie manis un teica, ka jāiet svinēt mācību beigas!! un mēs gājām ārā, kur nekūstošā ledus vannā bija metrīgas šampja pudeles. Kamēr es ledus vannā meklēju kkādu konkrētu šampi, pie mums pienāca Marks Sloans, kurš it kā bija mans sporta skolotājs/pasniedzējs [not sure how old was I un kur es tur mācījos.. vsp jau I was dead. Does that mean, ka viņš was dead too? Lyanna was definitely dead. Viņš tak nedrīkst nomirt!!] un arī mani apsveica.. I was like 'Oh thank you so much' an apskāvu viņu un was like 'OMG! I'm hugging Mark Sloan!' Kad es viņu beidzot palaidu vaļā, viņš teica, ka būtu forši, ja es viņam atdotu naudu, jo citādi viņš mani vairs nekad neredzēs.. I had no money on me so we made some jokes about him finding me.. and I went away with Gordon, who was suddenly there.. Mark shouted something after us, I turned and shouted back: "Если я дам Вам денег - это взятка, а если Вы мне - это доброе дело!" He laughed, made a face and threw a ball at me. What an impressive throw it was! Sapnis beidzās ar to, ka Gordons noķēra to bumbiņu..

Pamodos ar domu - Aww, Mark Sloan hugged me! :D un tad atcerējos visu pārējo murgu..
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in my dream.. [Jun. 10th, 2012|12:34 pm]
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[Current Mood |determined to learn]
[Current Music |radio LOL]

... which was something like a dream within a dream, but when i woke up the first time [a.k.a. was still sleeping in my first dream] i wasn't sure if I dreamt it or knew it. well anyway - in one of those dreams a crazy guy killed di Caprio [what he read to know he had to do that - I have no idea..].. It was quick - a knife straight to the heart.. in and out..

and it was really sad, him being that really good guy, caring about the enviroment and all that green-life stuff, and being a brilliantly genius actor.. not being married and having no children. Simply sad.
[I remember seeing Scorsese so devastated.. and not because of the Wolf..]

pluss -> then there were no more movies with him to come. [and so far I'm not a fan of Django.. so for me there would be only Gatsby]

and the night before that Mark Sloan died, his head in my lap.

good guys just keep dying in my dreams..
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men - continued [May. 6th, 2012|09:00 pm]
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a definite to-see
1) The Dark Knight Rises [2012]

redzētās
1) This Means War [2012]
2) Warrior [2011]
3) Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy [2011]
4) Inception [2010]
5) Wuthering Heights [2009]
6) RocknRolla [2008]
7) Scenes of a Sexual Nature [2006]
8) Marie Antoinette [2006]
9) Gideon's Daughter [2005]
10) Layer Cake [2004]

pārējās
1) Lawless [2012]
2) Thick as Thieves [2009]
3) Bronson [2008]
4) Sucker Punch [2008]
5) The Inheritance [2007]
6) Stuart: A Life Backwards [2007]
7) The Killing Gene [2007]
8) Flood [2007]
9) A for Andromeda [2006]
10) Minotaur [2006]
11) Sweeney Todd [2006]
12) Colditz [2005]
13) EMR [2004]
14) LD 50 Lethal Dose [2003]
15) Dot the I [2003]
16) The Reckoning [2003]
17) Star Trek: Nemesis [2002]
18) Deserter [2002]
19) Black Hawk Down [2001] -> vai kāds, kas nav šajā filmā?
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i'm stalking a new guy.. [Apr. 30th, 2012|11:49 pm]
[Tags|, , , ]
[Current Mood |crazy]
[Current Music |none]

a definite to-see
1) The Bourne Legacy [2012]
2) Untitled James Gray Project [2012]

redzētās
1) Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol [2011]
2) Thor [2011]
3) The Town [2010]
4) The Hurt Locker [2008]
5) 28 Weeks Later [2007]
6) North Country [2005]
7) S.W.A.T. [2003]

daļēji redzētās
1) The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford [2007]

pārējās
1) The Avengers [2012]
2) Ingenious [2009]
3) Take [2007]
4) Love Comes to the Executioner [2006]
5) A Little Trip to Heaven [2005]
6) Twelve and Holding [2005]
7) Lords of Dogtown [2005]
8) Neo Ned [2005]
9) The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things [2004]
10) Dahmer [2002]
11) Monkey Love [2002]
12) Fish in a Barrel [2001]
13) A Friend's Betrayal [1996]
14) Paper Dragons [1996]
15) Senior Trip [1995]

P.S. even thinking of watching The Unusuals [2009] -> TV series.. bad, bad girl..
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two things. mallow. [Apr. 10th, 2012|12:44 am]
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[Current Mood |-]
[Current Music |-]

first - my mum told that he took my spark away
second - i think i need rhett.
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čaļi [Feb. 22nd, 2012|02:04 pm]
[Tags|, , ]
[Current Mood |weird]
[Current Music |-]

sīrouslī?!! sīrously?
like wtf? like whāāāāt?

i mean.. pšš.

definitely didn't see this one coming.
totally out of the blue.
un vsp - how? un why?
un kāpēc tā vnm notiek?
un ko tagad darīt?
un..
un..

ok. calm down. think straight.
[It's not our eyes.. It's how we operate..]
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medžik - ir sens latviešu vārds [Feb. 11th, 2012|08:47 pm]
[Tags|, , ]
[Current Mood |happy]
[Current Music |florence and the machine - shake it out]

beidzot aizgāju uz Padega simtgades izstādi. [un pēdējais brīdis arī bija - priekšpēdējā diena..]
efekts ir milzonīgs - daudzi darbi ir so controversial, ka zosāda uzmetas. tajos ir kkas atbaidošs, nedabisks un nenormāli pievilcīgs. viņi hipnotizē. i was bewitched. bet bija arī darbi, kas likās nevainīgi smieklīgi - īpaši melnhumorīgo nosaukumu dēļ.
vsp nenormāli huge veikums 28 gadus garai dzīvei.. rīlī impressive.
ņemot vērā viņa angļu valodas lietojumus latviskajos tekstos - es totāli iemīlējos un vsp varētu tur palikt mūžam. uz vienu diplomdarbu var skatīties, skatīties, skatīties un vēl gribēt kko ieraudzīt, saprast, atklāt..

[nu jā - no real date though..]
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chemistry makes happy, when it doesn't happen [Feb. 1st, 2012|12:55 pm]
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[Current Mood |happy]

šodiena ir burvīga - triju bioķīmiju vietā bija tikai viena un tā pati laboratorijas darbs so -> esam palaisti brvībā early. un es varu pievērsties Nīlam (mm)
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vot tā [Jan. 29th, 2012|02:28 pm]
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[Current Mood |surpraizd]
[Current Music |čaļi, īsās programmas]

njā, 10 gadus Žubērs ir bijis Eiropas trijniekā/trīniekā [?] un pirmo reizi nav.
vsp baigi dīvaini - jo man jau likās, ka viņš ik pa brīdim nebija..
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life is a game of cards [Jan. 26th, 2012|06:34 pm]
[Tags|, , ]
[Current Mood |iesnas]
[Current Music |čaļi slido]

all my good deeds probably screwed my karma.
everytime i go enywhere near city center everything goes very wrong. today i managed to break cinema equipment [or my aura did] un depa vietā dabūju veselus 5 vīriešus to look at. [dažiem vismaz puse no viņiem liktos diskutabla, especially the main hero, bet ko lai dara..]
turklāt tā filma bija divas stundas vēlāk un we had even time to listen to children wooden flute concert of twinkle-twinkle little star. that was really sweet.

un filma saprotams nevis beidzās, bet sākās, kad sākās daiļslidošana un es ne tikai pļušenko neredzēju bet vēl 20 citus spportistus, bet paspēju tieši uz Žubēru - one could say 'perfect timing'..

un tagad mans suns sēž pie savas bļodas un ļoti gudri skatās te uz mani, te uz bļodu - un there's noone to ask, cikos viņu baroja.. so i'll probably will give in now and give him the magic think that makes me GOD..

cerams, ka rīt nekas nesalūzīs - jo that would be a total failure.

un Kevins kārtējo reizi fano par Kevinu - kurš ir real jumping machine.
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classic first day [Jan. 26th, 2012|12:19 am]
[Tags|, , ]
[Current Mood |ill]
[Current Music |vajag a-buku]

neskatoties uz to, ka Aļona un Robins tomēr izdomāja neriskēt, savu treneri smukulīti dabūju redzēt ar pusjaunajiem šveiciešiem :)
ar nepacietību gaidu rītdienas čaļus [no kuriem Pļušenko man nav lemts redzēt, viņa vietā būs Deps]

stpc - starp rīta un pusdienlaika Gordona pastaigām var paspēt aizbraukt uz Jelgavu, aizčāpot līdz fakultātei un kojām, un atgriezties bek.

+ plīz gād, let mī not bī il egēn.
[jo 2 mēneši klepošanas un puņķošanās un galvassāpju - ir bišku par daudz.. īvn for mī.. un neskatoties uz pazemināto temp. man ir sajūta, la vaigi sadegs un acis izsprāgs]
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otrdienāāā!!! [Jan. 24th, 2012|09:01 am]
[Tags|, , ]
[Current Mood |coffee in my bloodstream]
[Current Music |the book of lost things [ab]]

one more day, which might have been much shorter had I slept longer.
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how fickle is woman! [Jan. 21st, 2012|11:20 pm]
[Tags|, ]
[Current Mood |sēd]
[Current Music |tv from another room]

[un neskatoties uz viņu & co, you'll always be in my heart.. some men just are there forever]

bet runa neiet [un tā tiešām ir - runa nekad un nekur neiet] par to.. mans jaunais fons jaunajā gadā man apnika in 3 weeks, ja ne mazāk. tā kā here's the new one.
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