They freak me out, totally.

But they're so cute! And fat!

They are bloated, like thriving with thick, virulent miasma. They probably live in places I would go only dressed in A-grade HAZMAT suit, and they feed on whatever grows, or lives, or dies there.

My, aren't you a bloody ray of sunshine.
And anyway, what have the poor shrews ever done to deserve words this harsh?

Of course I am, and I extend my nurturing radiance over such places as you fucking need to see, all of you. In certain circles, I am being worshipped as a figure of great wisdom and eternal life, after all.

Also, these particular shrews do look like an internally decaying, loathsome parody of little cute living things, so there.

Well, you do have a point there.
/Also, isn't it funny how calling someone a ray of sunshine can rile that person up?/

And they most certainly do not look like parodies of anything. They're cute. And probably squishy, too.

Squishy indeed, splattering gore, digestive fluids and endoparasite-infested blood everywhere when stepped upon. Probably also some less known foul substances, generated by the dictate of whatever genetic misfires are slowly accumulated in creatures living in the aforementioned kind of environment.

They probably inbreed, too.

It almost seems as though the shrew is actually an unbelievably vile and abominable being created by The Ultimate Evil Itself (®, most likely) in order to eradicate all mankind. It probably gorges itself with all sorts of putrid waste until state of the perfect internal decay is achieved. The loathsome shrew then enters the last stage of its life cycle - masterfully placing itself in the way of some unwitting oaf so that it can be stepped upon and thus release the foulness it has accumulated within itself.
Yes, I can totally see it now.
Quite the ingenious plan, I must admit.

My entire day has just been made. ^____^