Summer's come and gone...but we're still singing songs
That's from my dear friend, Aden. I thought it would sumthispost up rather appropriately.I'm going to try to update more often. I used to update so religiously; even when my life was toocrazy and toobusy. Now, as I take the next step of my life, I am sure that I will begin to have less and less time, as other more pressing priorities make themselves known to me. That being said, I still want to make updating this journal a priority. It's important to me to get all my thoughts down on paper; to better understand my feelings and try to put words to my emotions. I've never been a very articulate person, and I believe that this process helps me with that in some small way.I look back at the last chapter of my life now; one whose last sentence and final, phantom punctuation mark draw nearer and nearer. It is an interesting thing; life, the paths that we choose to walk...the paths that are chosen for us. We ashumans are truly unique creatures. I often battle with my own beliefs; in that, while I believe that people are just glorified, ignorant animals, I do believe that we have something within us that sets us apart. We choose, we question, we explore. And I guess, in the end, that makes us worthy of life.I haven't realized just how much of a lifeless journey this past year has been. I let myanxieties consume meduring most of my senior year;let theapprehension of change and new things make me weary and afraid. This summer has been a mad-dash to squeezeevery last drop out of life, and now I'm realizing just how much I limited myselfduring my teen years. Iwas always sofearful about putting myself out there, and I'm finding out now that...even though I don't always feel great about myself, I amgrowing into a fine young woman. And I'm proud of that. I'm proud of my accomplishments. I'm proud of the distances I've traveled. I can take comfort in that, even when all else fails.I've been so disconnected; shutting down because of my reluctance to face something new, challenging and, at times, frightening. But I know I can do this. My whole life has been a training session for this very event; a rehearsal for opening night. I want to do this. I'm scared to, but I want to do this. And I know that I can. Even though I doubt myself so often, deep down I truly believe that I have the fortitude to make it through all of this.The shadowed, still-starry sky...the early morning; that calming, easy and always-pleasant time of my life has ended, and I am left with the breaking dawn, the sun rising and therefore exposing the true nature of things for the first time to my eyes; stealing small pieces of my innonence, my passion, my idealism. But I'm not backing down. I can't back down; not when I've made it this far. I can't give up. I've come too far to falter now.I have a lot of exciting things ahead of me. I hope thatI have the strength....I know that I have the strength.