The following is an exchange of correspondence between a customer and
the Irish Rail:

Gentlemen, I have been riding trains daily for the last two years, and
the service seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing
in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip.
I think the transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by
people 2,000 years ago.

Yours truly,
Patrick Finnegan

******************

Dear Mr. Finnegan, We received your letter with reference to the
shortcomings of our service, and believe you are somewhat confused in your
history. The only mode of transportation 2,000 years ago was by foot.

Sincerely,
Larnrod Eireann

******************

Gentlemen, I am in receipt of your letter, and I think you are the
ones who are confused in your history. If you will refer to the Bible,
Book of David, 9th Chapter, you will find that Balaam rode to town on his ass.
That, gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do, on your train,
during the last two years!