It’s an idea so ludicrous you couldn’t make it up. But I can exclusively reveal that Mozza is in talks with the BBC to pen an entry for the most cheesy, tongue-in-cheek music show around.

I still find it hard to believe the bequiffed singer will be joining illustrious previous contest entrants ABBA, CELINE DION, BUCKS FIZZ and, er, JEMINI.

Last night a BBC spokesman said: “I can confirm we are in talks with Morrissey about a Eurovision song.”

The highbrow former SMITHS frontman, who made his name with hits including Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now and This Charming Man, has been approached through his record label Sanctuary.

He has to be a favourite to win through to the shortlist of the selection programme.

I can’t imagine Morrissey would consider performing the tune himself — no doubt someone else will sing it.

But it turns out Mozza is a huge fan of the contest and last year moaned about never being asked to submit a track. After last year’s feeble British attempt on the title by DAZ SAMPSON, Mozza said: “I was horrified but not surprised to see the UK fail again.

“There’s a question I keep asking myself — why didn’t they ask me? It keeps going round in my head.”

That was just the excuse I needed to mock up Morrissey as a member of 1981 winners Bucks Fizz.

The BBC are obviously looking to Mozza to give the show more credibility — and, more importantly, make sure we challenge for the title for the first time since KATRINA AND THE WAVES won in 1997.

Morrissey even worked with the UK’s first winner SANDIE SHAW in the Eighties and paid tribute to the Eurovision event with his You Have Killed Me video last year, which showed him decked out in vintage clobber as an entrant from the Seventies.

After our worst-ever run of results, the BBC are completely revamping their presentation of the show.

They are going to work with established composers to avoid more embarrassing efforts like Jemini’s in 2003.

A source said: “The organisers know the weight having someone like Morrissey would bring. He is their first choice and he is seriously considering it.

“They feel UK music has more to offer and want to make it a serious event that will grab public attention.”

It would be great to see The Mozfather rocking up for the grand final in Helsinki on May 12.

I would say he has a big chance of bringing back the bacon, but then Meat Is Murder according to Mozza . . .