Oh, she reads my diary, surprise, surprise.

But yeah, it wasn't easy for me, 'cause I'm used to fight back, fighting was all I knew, and this let the river take me, hurts worse than fighting sometimes. Hurts me, not others. When I'm fighting it hurts others too, so I don't know which way is fair. You are at river,but you can't take pain away.
There is so much pain inside you at that moment, that you think you will blow up.
And always there is no one who would ask, if I need help, if I need someone to talk to about things that pains me.
I was so upset last days, fighting with myself, telling myself that yeah I don't really care, but it wasn't true and when I realized that everything is fine again then and only then I cried.