Hardware hardships
I tremble before the very near prospect of constructing and running a modular neural net with 500K+ cells and millions of synapses (multi-compartment Izhikevich with axonal delay, STDP, Markram short-term plasticity and AMPA/NMDA/GABA kinetics; pretty standard biologically-realistic sim but I don't think even aggressive parallelisation could save my arse this time) on my current box.

Our father, if thou art in heaven, please fucking send me more decent hardware, since for a supposedly omnipotent entity that should be piss-all easy to do.