>>European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
>> > will be the official language of the European Union rather than
>> > German, which was the other possibility.
>> > As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
>> > English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
5-
>> > year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
>> > In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".

Sertainly, this
>>will
>> > make the sivil servants jump with joy.
>> >
>> >
>> > The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear
up
>> > konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
>> >
>> > There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when
the
>> > troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words
like
>> > fotograf 20% shorter.
>> >
>> > In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
>>expekted
>> > to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
>> >
>> > Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which
have
>> > always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
>> >
>> > Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the
>>languag
>> > is disgrasful and it should go away.
>> >
>> > By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th"
>> > with "z" and "w" with "v".
>> >
>> > During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
>> > kontaining "ou"
>> > and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
>> >
>> > Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi
tu
>> > understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
>> >
>> > Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted
in
>> > ze forst plas.