Say "NO" to drugs. That will bring the prices down.
Double your drive space. Delete Windows.
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
Every time you open your mouth, some idiot starts talking.
The box said Windows 2000 or better. So I installed Linux.
Use the best: Linux for servers, Mac for graphics, Windows for Solitaire.
I found Jesus - he was behind the sofa all the time.
Save the trees, wipe your butt with an owl.
Don't make me mad. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
Rock is dead. Long live paper and scissors.
If you can read this, you're not the president.
I didn't climb all the way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
Gravity: It's not just a good idea. It's the law.
If you are what you eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.
Warning: Dates on calendar are closer than they appear.
I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
There's no place like 127.0.0.1
You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.
If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
In dog years, I'm dead!
If going to church makes you a Christian, does going into a garage make you a car?
In America, anyone can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
I said "no" to drugs, but they didn't listen.
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
Sure you can trust the government! Just ask a native American!
Driver carries no cash. He's married.
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
Thank God I'm an atheist.
Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter.
Worry. God knows all about you.
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