Tacjkas
AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence

BMW
Bought My Wife

BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips

DODGE
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere

FIAT
Fix It All the Time

FORD
Fast Only Rolling Downhill

GM
General Maintenance

GMC
Gotta Mechanic Coming?

HONDA
Had One Never Did Again

HYUNDAI
Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...

MAZDA
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

OLDSMOBILE
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment

SAAB
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown

TOYOTA
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

VW
Virtually Worthless