Q: What is red and crawls up your leg?
A: A homesick abortion!

Q : Whats the worst thing a blind, deaf baby can get for Christmas ?
A : Cancer

Q. Whats more fun that spinning a baby on clothes line?
A. Stopping it with a shovel.

Q: What has 4 legs and one arm?
A: A Doberman on a children's playground!

Q: Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones?
A: Because they're hand made.

Q: How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?
A: Nail its other hand to the floor.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house?
A: Depends how hard you throw them.

Q: How do you stop a baby from choking?
A: Take your dick out of its mouth.

Q: What's present do you get for a dead baby?
A: A dead puppy.

Q: What's more fun than a barrel of dead babies?
A: Sticking pins in their eyes.

Q: How do you make a baby cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.