| Brilles |
[04 May 2009|09:55pm] |
Sapnī redzēju daudz dažādas brilles savā mugursomā. Nesapratu, ko tāds sapnis varētu nozīmēt, neņēmu galvā.
Pa dienu pazaudēju savas vienīgās brilles.
|
|
| Conversations with Satan 004 |
[29 Apr 2009|11:26pm] |
Blackout in memory again. Failures at work. Nothing I can do about it. Nothing...
( Speach of the dark one )
|
|
| Vijole |
[29 Apr 2009|11:15pm] |
|
Gribas spēlēt vijoli, bet... nē, pārāk vēls un neesmu laukos - kādam noteikti traucēs... Pilsētas brīvība...
|
|
| Conversations with Satan 003 |
[29 Apr 2009|12:11am] |
I saw kindness, warmth, modesty and tenderness. Came closer and looked far into a deep blue ocean. Gentle breeze took me by my shoulders. Gentle breeze touched my ears. Waves made the boat spin. Moonlight enchanted me. There was a rain of silver and a moonlight rainbow. I suddenly felt a presense of God there, I saw two angels guarding this kindness.
I try to swim closer, but they don't let me close. They say, my destiny is not suitable yet. I am not worthy. I must pass the test. But what test? And what should I do? What should I do?? I want to be there again so much...
It's simple, my son. Listen! I always have an advise for you. I am not an irresponsible "Father God" that wants to see you humans "figure out stuff by yourselves". I am a helping hand. And here's my advise.
( Speach of the dark one )
|
|
| Mask |
[28 Apr 2009|11:57pm] |
|
An invisible mask. Those tiny little transparent things, that I put in my eyes - nobody sees them, not even I, but it transforms me radically. However, they rather transform the visible world around me. And, of course, I can take away a cage away from my nose. So it's like a batman's mask or something - I feel so free, unstopable, unconfuseable, I can do everything that I want, go anywhere, talk to anyone, and I am so sure, that everything, that I wanna do, is right. I can not feel embarrassement, never. This is, when I feel, I am somebody else.
|
|
| Drums 2 |
[21 Apr 2009|10:19pm] |
Es taču tā arī nenopirku tās bungas...
Bet tagad tādi laiki, ka vispār vairs neko nevajag.
|
|
| Kurmītis |
[20 Apr 2009|11:28pm] |
Lauki. Pulkstens pieci no rīta. Mani pamodina savāda skaņa manā mugursomā. Pele - nodomāju es. Ņemu mugursomu un ātri aizrauju rāvējslēdzēju. Eju uz virtuvi, ņemu spaini, attaisu somu un cenšos peli izkratīt. Izkrīt mazs tumšs kamoliņš un ielido spainī. Izrādījās, kurmītis, tāds maziņš, ka pat pateikt nevar. Gribējās iznest viņu laukā, aiznest tālāk no mājas pļavā, bet, izdomāju, ka labāk no rīta, sniegs vēl bija. Aizgāju gulēt. Ilgi vēl dzirdēju kurmīti arvien izmisīgāk lēkājam spainī cenšoties tikt ārā. No rīta, kad saule jau bija uzlēkusi, nācu viņu apraudzīt, viņš bija miris.
So much for the life defender...
|
|
| Neatkarība |
[20 Apr 2009|11:10pm] |
Ikdienā redzu uz ielas daudzus cilvēkus, kas vazājas pa centru un prasa naudu garāmgājējiem. Domāju - vai tiešām viņiem nav bērnu, vecāku, brāļu, brālēnu. Neviena? Domāju, ka ir.
Atceros kādu karavīru, kurš aizņēmās naudu no maniem vecākiem, kaut arī viņa tēvs bija turīgāks par manējo. Kauns no sava tēva prasīt, tā viņš teica.
Cits mans paziņa ņēma naudu no manis, jo gan viņa māti, gan tēvu, kas dzīvoja šķirti, negribēja pat redzēt.
Tas ir princips - tālāk no tuviniekiem - būt neatkarīgam - doties tuvinieku meklējumos starp svešiniekiem.
Cilvēks kļūst neatkarīgs tad, kad pārstāj saņemt atbalstu no saviem tuviniekiem un sāk to saņemt no svešiniekiem.
Bet cik dzīvoju, neatceros nevienu gadījumu, kad kāds svešinieks būtu kļuvis par to, par ko var padarīt vienīgi dzīve - par tuvāko. Ja nu vienīgi sastaptos divi tādi vienādi, kas meklēja sev līdzīgos un atrada viens otrā - vienlaicīgi domubiedri un jūtubiedri.
|
|
| Conversations with God 002 |
[01 Apr 2009|09:21pm] |
Came home really late yesterday evening, no time for supper, so just a glass of pure country milk. Woke up really late this morning, so no time for breakfast. Again just a glass of milk. Then working with an empty stomach, and what do I see - some sweet jelly marmelade left in my bag. Ate it all, sugar made my blood heavy and then I hear in my imagination:
- You Don't Know What You're Looking For, do you?
- I know what I am looking for, but I am not sure, if it exists... That's why I sometimes look for something else.
- And you have no idea, what this something else is.
- That's right.
- Probably something similar to what you really whant? Because when you find something else, you don't want it.
- You know everything! Tell me where to look for!
( Read more... )
|
|
| Dew |
[01 Apr 2009|12:42am] |
|
|
| Conversations with Satan 002 |
[26 Mar 2009|07:55pm] |
Every morning I wake up empty in my heart. Just as empty, as my life is - unfulfilled desire to be important had burnt down my heart long ago. I remeber a documentary about a famous war photographer - Robert Capa - he was famous, people needed him and still he needed to spend 4 hours every morning in bath to ivent his personality. I don't need a bath, I don't need 4 hours - just 40 minutes - this is how long usually I need to find an answer to a question "What for?" or "What's the point?". There is no point, I just exist, my life is dedicated to nobody. I have spent too many years by doing useless things, that brought absolutely not even a smallest change to this world. And I keep to it, and can't quit it. So I lay in my bed and suddenly hear in my imagination:
( Speach of the Dark one )
|
|
| Kolhozs |
[24 Mar 2009|07:27pm] |
|
Lasu Dienā: "viņi apsaimnieko 200 hektārus. "40 slaucamas govis, normāla vidusmēra saimniecība."" Tad lasu Dāņu statistikas gadagrāmatu - vidējais saimniecības lielums ir 57 ha. Es, protams, zinu, ka tiem pašiem dāņiem Latvijas teritorijā ir īpašumi, kas mērami nevis vairs hektāros, bet gan kvadrātkilometros, tomēr tāpat ir jāatzīst, ka tas ir tikai tāpēc, ka mums ir saglabājusies padomjlaiku kolhozu mode, ka viens zemnieks-predsedaķeļs pārvalda extralielas platības, un dāņi pie mums būs pārņēmuši šo modi un tajā mūs pārspējuši.
|
|
| Conversations with God 001 |
[23 Mar 2009|08:58pm] |
I was bringing Pinochio babies to the execution site from the forest by the brook, where lots of trees fell down this winter. No axe could be a help for me here, so I used a saw to cut off their limbs. Some of those Pinochios were heavy a lot - bringing me down to the ground through the layers of snow. I struggled. Then darkness came together with the stars and covered everything. I was exhausted so I stopped for a minute to have a rest, I lifted up my eyes and saw the Great Bear. I listened to the air, and heard a water flow in the brook sounding so calm.
I enjoyed everything that, and thought of how actually boring my life has become to lead me into the forest in the weekend alone.
I recalled then the first time I heard god speaking to me really loud in my dream a few years ago - I saw his angels - they spoke to me, spoke in riddles, showed me many things, things uncomprehensible. The place where I was looked so familiar - hills, meadows and forests, so latvian, but with temples everywhere, temples looking greek or roman very much, because of columns. I thought, that was heaven. Heaven, where to hide away from my boring, empty and looped everyday life. I had no objective, so I asked: where is my place? The voice of a Lord answered back then - these hills, meadows and forests is your home. I was assured! I sort of received a quest! I was also shown, what will happen, if I will not succeed - if I lose, I will become an aggressive guerilla with a junk rifle in a forest. Then I woke up.
I wanted to get back to that heaven place so much! But nope, all these years no more journeys... I remembered a recent conversation with Satan, so I thought God might have something to answer. I looked at the great bear again and asked: Forces of light or darkness, speak to me! I call for you! Silence, brook flows, wind, time passes. I am surprised - my imagination gives me nothing. Not even Satan. I started to think, that my emotions are much to flat thus making me dumb to hear spirits. Then suddenly God asked:
And what do you expect to hear???
|
|
| Conversations with Satan 001 |
[19 Mar 2009|07:15pm] |
I walked into the temple of Satan this evening to buy some things to satisfy some of my needs. My weak eyes could barely lead me to the right thing and a right shelf. On my way I met a lady of temptation - she offered me a glas of Spanish red wine. I had a drink - warm feeling captured me. I found the item I was looking for, but strange, there was a stop sign right under it. I ignored it and walked forth. I walked out of the temple. I was about to offer a piece of pure bread. ... My offer was rejected, my bread became my burden on my way home. Warm feeling started to fade along with sunset, which I didn't see because of the clouds. Then I heard the whispers:
Rejection... What a feeling it brings...
You don't deserve it, nobody does, still such is life... Your life - to be rejected, pathetic and unnececary... An unnececary life you are! Nothing would be different, if you were not born.
And still you chose him as your Lord - the Creator Lord God! Why?!
Don't you understand, that you are one of my kind? Everything around you is His creation, and this everything rejects you! Eats your time and health and spits you out! Look at you! Running around with a big peace of bread like a fool! There is no place for you among his children. You simply don't have enough money and strength to earn this place!
Money is my invention - I give you much - but not enough, because I know, that you hate me. Hatred, isn't it, what your beloved Jesus taught you not to have? Stop hating me, because I and my people never rejected you.
|
|
| Coincidence |
[16 Mar 2009|11:08pm] |
|
Var gan tā sagadīties, ka viena mēneša laikā notiek tas, kas nekad iepriekš nebija pieredzēts - sabrūk dators gan darbā, gan flešatmiņa (atjaunot izdodas tikai pusi datu), gan mājas vecā datora viens no loģiskajiem diskiem, kurā glabājās bildes (uh, tagad man būs darbiņš, lai atjaunotu tūkstošiem jpf fotogrāfiju, ko pēdējo 5 gadu laikā esmu safotografējis). Laikam jāsāk taisīt backup iekš DVD, bet tik ļoti negribas apkrauties ar ikdienā nevajadzīgajiem diskiem.
|
|
| Red light |
[12 Mar 2009|11:27pm] |
|
Katru reizi, šķērsojot ielu uz sarkanās gaismas, attopos ielas vidū, jo redzu, ka pretējā pusē stāv, gaida zaļo gaismu un skatās uz mani mazi bērni. Pēkšņi atceros bērnību, vienreiz ieraudzīju, ka divi cilvēki šķērso ielu uz sarkanās, nolēmu doties līdzi. Labi, ka toreiz bija tikai žiguļi, zapīši un moskviči, jo mūsdienās kāds ieskrējies leksuss ar ašo šoferi, kas allaž bremzē bremzēt, noteikti būtu izsmērējis piecgadīgā bērna mazu smadzeni 100m garumā. Bet nē, arī rīt es šķērsošu ielu uz sarkanās gaismas, un vēl kāds maziņš knariņš iegūs labu piemēru, kas var izrādīties arī letāls.
|
|
| Punkcake blues |
[12 Feb 2009|08:44pm] |
To bake pancakes is a very timeconsuming activity, if with only one pan. However, istead of having another pan, one can have a guitar. However, to play guitar and bake pancakes at the same time might harm pancakes, if you are a good guitarplayer, or might harm a guitar, if you are a good cook.
Well, I am a better guitarplayer than cook.
|
|
| Varas distance |
[12 Feb 2009|08:31pm] |
Varas distance - attālums starp dokumenta izstrādātaja paraksta vietu un iestādes vadītāja paraksta vietu.
Dokumenta izstrādātāja paraksta vietai jāatrodas pēc iespējas zemāk jebkurā gadījumā. Lai samazinātu varas distanci, ir nepieciešams vai nu pēc iespējas piesātināt dokumenta tekstu tā, lai iestādes vadītāja paraksts pietuvotos pēdējās lappuses apakšai, vai arī pēc iespējas samazināt dokumenta testu, lai pārnestu paraksta vietas uz iepriekšējo lappusi. Pēdējais variants ir pats grūtākais.
|
|
