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SOLAR MAX RESCHDULED: Impatient with the quiet sun, NASA researchers have rescheduled solar maximum. The peak was due in 2012, but now it's going to happen this month. "We've launched millions of dollars worth of spacecraft to study solar activity, and what are we getting? Puny little A-flares and feeble old sunspots," complained a high-ranking source at NASA headquarters. "We need some real explosions! Rescheduling Solar Max should solve the problem." News of the shift was announced on April 1st.