Axa

Vakar atnācu mājās patīkami nogurusi ar cerībām uztaisīt pankūkas un varbūt iesaistīt vecākus kādā 'Katanas ieceļotāju' spēlē. Taču aizejot sasveicināties ar māti, dabūju noklausīties vienu no viņas lekcijām par nepieklājīgu jaunatni un par to kā jāuzvedas godīgai meitenei.
Kā parasti no šādām lekcijām man sametas vienkārši vēmiens, tāpēc aizgāju uz istabu, noģērbos un vienkārši iekritu gultā. Šķiet iemigu vēl pirms desmitiem vakarā.
Šodien vēl ar vien ir besis un vienkārši riebums :P

Ak vai, jūlijs būs LARP mēnesis. Jau katra brīvdiena sākot ar šo ir aizsista spēlēm!
Woot!

Vakar bija neaprakstāma bauda un labi, ka mēs ar Inxu aizbraucām uz jāšanas nodarbību, jo mūs abus izveda pa meža taku. Zirdziņi jāja augšā, lejā, augšā, lejā pa pakalniem un šaurām kraujām. Lēkšiem pa smiltīm un cauri krūmiem un beigās pāri plašai pļavai apskautai ar zili baltiem mākoņiem jau rietošas saules apspīdētiem.
Manī radās arī iepriekš nenovērota enerģijas pieplūde, kas pat neskatoties uz nogurumu un neizgulētām naktīm, lika man mājās skriet basām kājām un tad vēl izbaudīt vēsu dušu.

Ir par ko rakstīt, taču šobrīd kaut kā nespēju...

    There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying.
    The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
    Pick a nice day, it suggests, and try it.
    The first part is easy.
    All it requires is simply the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight, and willingness not to mind that it's going to hurt.
    That is, it's going to hurt if you fail to miss the ground.
    Most people fail to miss the ground, and if they are really trying properly, the likelihood is that they will fail to miss it fairly hard.
    Clearly, it is this second part, the missing, which presents the difficulties.
    One problem is that you have to miss the ground accidentally. It's no good deliberately intending to miss the ground because you won't. You have to have your attention suddenly distracted by something else when you're halfway there, so that you are no longer thinking about falling, or about the ground, or about how much it's going to hurt if you fail to miss it.
    It is notoriously difficult to prise your attention away from these three things during the split second you have at your disposal. Hence most people's failure, and their eventual disillusionment with this exhilarating and spectacular sport.
If, however, you are lucky enough to have your attention momentarily distracted at the crucial moment by, say, a gorgeous pair of legs (tentacles, pseudopodia, according to phyllum and/or personal inclination) or a bomb going off in your vicinity, or by suddenly spotting an extremely rare species of beetle crawling along a nearby twig, then in your astonishment you will miss the ground completely and remain bobbing just a few inches above it in what might seem to be a slightly foolish manner.
    This is a moment for superb and delicate concentration.
    Bob and float, float and bob.
    Ignore all considerations of your own weight and simply let yourself waft higher.
    Do not listen to what anybody says to you at this point because they are unlikely to say anything helpful.
    They are most likely to say something along the lines of, 'Good God, you can't possibly be flying!'
    It is vitally important not to believe them or they will suddenly be right.
    Waft higher and higher.
    Try a few swoops, gentle ones at first, then drift above the treetops breathing regularly.
    DO NOT WAVE AT ANYBODY.
    When you have done this a few times you will find the moment of distraction rapidly becomes easier and easier to achieve.
    You will then learn all sorts of things about how to control your flight, your speed, your manoeuvrability, and the trick usually lies in not thinking too hard about whatever you want to do, but just allowing it to happen as if it was going to anyway.
    You will also learn about how to land properly, which is something you will almost certainly cock up, and cock up badly, on your first attempt.
There are private flying clubs you can join which help you achieve the all-important moment of distraction. They hire people with surprising bodies or opinions to leap out from behind bushes and exhibit and/or explain them at the critical moments. Few genuine hitch-hikers will be able to afford to join these clubs, but some may be able to get temporary employment at them.

— Douglas Adams, 'The Hitch-Hikers Guide To The Galaxy'

Šodien ir svelme...un ar šo svelmi arī viss beigsies...4 dzīves gadi pavadīti ierokoties zinātniskos tekstos un drukājot kopsavilkumus, referātus un esejas...par ieguldīto laiku un naudu vienīgi saņemšu papīrīti...daudz svarīgāk laikam tomēr ir pašas gandarījums un novērtējums no malas...jā, beigas...iepriekšējās dzīves nāve...taču tad sāksies kas jauns...iestāsies jaunā dzīve tieši ar garāko gada dienu un īsāko nakti...

3 saldējuma kokteiļi un pica - ak vai es jūtos pilna!

Down with the sickness

(...) Drowning deep in my sea of loathing
Broken your servant I kneel
It seems what's left of my human side
Is slowly changing in me

Looking at my own reflection
When suddenly it changes
Violently it changes (oh no)
There is no turning back now
You've woken up the demon in me

Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Open up your hate, and let it flow into me
You mother get up
You fucker get up
Madness is the gift, that has been given to me (...)

Nesaprotu kāpēc man ir tāds stress pēdējās dienās? Man tas nepatīk...un ja kāds tagad no manis kaut ko vēl pieprasīs, tad es vienkārši pasūtīšu visus dirst!

Unwell

(...)

Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me
(...)

Un atkal aktīvas brīvdienas, kas sākās ar divām dzimšanas dienas svinībā - māsas un Atīša - bet nobeidzās ar braucienu uz Irbeni un pastaigu naktī pa pamestu militāru pilsētu. Pavidu visam vēl bija jūra, rodeļi un ala bez velna.
Prieks, ka īpaši neplānotas brīvdienas izvērtās tik atraktīvas, taču visas turpmākās brīvdienas jau veselu mēnesi uz priekšu ir saplānotas un man ir nelaba nojausma, ka nāksies tajās iespiest vēl pāris pasākumus!

Šī nedēļa būs ļoti īpatnēja, sākot jau ar faktu, ka būs Jāņi un tas jau ir jūtams arī ofisā, jo šodien viss gaitenis pilns ar Jāņu zāļu izstādi pie katra kabineta.
Trešdien savukārt būs jau ceturtais izlaidums manā mūžā un par šo visnotaļ ir vislielākais gandarījums, jo ar katru pakāpi pieaug arī prasības ne tikai oficiālās, bet arī personīgās, ko uzlieku sev un savām akadēmiskajām ambīcijām. Taču šis izlaidums mani mulsina ar to, ka man nav vēl īsti skaidrības kā viņā izturēties, ko vilkt, kas uz to nāks un ko darīt pēc tā...vai man 'rīkot' kādu pasēdēšanu ar tautu vai vienkārši nogaidīt un tad jau uz vietas izlemt, kā atzīmēt iegūto Bakalauru?! Iet uz kursa tusu toč negribas :P
Eh, man ir slinkums, ko pasākt, bet varbūt tomēr saņemšos...vienkārši pārāk daudz aktivitātes jāieplāno vēl šonedēļ...

( Dawn )

Push

She said I don't know if I've ever been good enough
I'm a little bit rusty, and I think my head is caving in
And I don't know if I've ever been really loved
By a hand that's touched me, well I feel like something's
Gonna give
And I'm a little bit angry, well

This ain't over, no not here, not while I still need you
Around
You don't owe me, we might change
Yeah we just might feel good

[chorus]

I wanna push you around, I will, I will
I wanna push you down, I will, I will
I wanna take you for granted, I wanna take you for granted
I will

She said I don't know why you ever would lie to me
Like I'm a little untrusting when I think that the truth is
Gonna hurt ya
And I don't know why you couldn't just stay with me
You couldn't stand to be near me
When my face don't seem to want to shine
Cuz it's a little bit dirty well

Don't just stand there, say nice things to me
I've been cheated I've been wronged, and you
You don't know me, I can't change
I won't do anything at all

[chorus]

Oh but don't bowl me over
Just wait a minute well it kinda fell apart, things get so
Crazy, crazy
Don't rush this baby, don't rush this baby

[chorus]

Black horse and a cherry tree

two, three, four
(woo-hoo,woo-hoo)

(woo-hoo,woo-hoo)

well my heart knows me better than i know myself
so i'm gonna let it do all the talking.
(woo-hoo,woo-hoo)
i came across a place in the middle of nowhere
with a big black horse and a cherry tree.
(woo-hoo,woo-hoo)

i fell in fear, upon my back
i said don't look back, just keep on walking.
(woo-hoo,woo-hoo)
when the big black horse that looked this way,
 said hey lady, will you marry me?
(woo-hoo,woo-hoo)

but i said no, no, no,no-no-no
i said no, no,  you're not the one for me
no, no, no,no-no-no
i said no, no,  you're not the one for me

(ooooo,woo-hoo)

and my heart had a problem, in the early hours,
so it stopped it dead for a beat or two.
(woo-hoo,woo-hoo)
but i cut some cord, and i shouldn't have done that,
and it won't forgive me after all these years
(woo-hoo,woo-hoo)

so i sent her to a place in the middle of nowhere
with a big black horse and a cherry tree.
(woo-hoo,woo-hoo)
now it won't come back , cause it's oh so happy
and now i've got a hole for the world to see
(woo-hoo,woo-hoo)

but it said no, no, no,no-no-no
i said no, no,  you're not the one for me
no, no, no,no-no-no
said no, no,  you're not the one for me

(ooooo,woo-hoo) (not the one for me, yeah)

(ooooo,woo-hoo)

said no,no, no,no, no, no, no
you're not the one for me
said no,no, no,no, no, no, no
you're not the one for me

big black horse and a cherry tree
i can't quite get there cause they've all forsken me
big black horse and a cherry tree
i can't quite get there cause they've all forsken me