man jaatvainojas, bet es nezinu, kaa lai tev palidzu. es zinu, ka butu varejusi pacensties un kaut vai pa/piedomat vairak, tachu es tevi nemiilu. ja vien es tevi miletu - es butu laimigaka sieviete pasaule. ja vien es fiziski speetu tevi pienemt. bet nu jau 7 gadus kaa nevaru so it's unlikely to change, no matter how desperate or lonely i may be. i guess it's one of the saddest things - that i actually find you repulsive. in many, so many ways we are soulmates, we understand each other better than anyone really. it's wonder, it's marvellous - honestly. but it's such a shame that we just don't work sexually. not at all. maybe it's because he got there before you. i don't know. i will never know.
i wish you well. i think i know why you are drinking. and i don't how and if at all i can help you.