As If You Have To Know About Death
It's been 12 days since my wife's dad died.I'm still recovering from total lack of sleep,and despite efforts to make up for the lost nutrition and sleep, it seems like I'd never forget this ordeal.During the wake,where we still follow some age-old Filipino/Ilokano/Tagalog traditions when it comes to wakes and burials,I casually quipped to my wife's aunt:"Getting someone wed is just so much easier than getting someone buried." A lot of them agree with me.I don't know how it is in other countries, but here in the Philippines,especially in an urban setting,it is very expensive to die.The money you'll spend for your casket and the wake could have been used to establish a small business,what with ala HBO's 'Six Feet Under' funeral companies ripping you off.It's not that I am saying we should spend less for a loved one,but that amount? Geez.I accompanied my mom-in-law to the airport's shipping section to help ship the body,together with the oh-so-heavy casket,to my dad-in-law's hometown in Mindanao(that's the southern Philippine island for you.).I assisted the funeral guy who drove the death wagon.He admitted to me that it's his first time to deal with shipping bodies,and he doesn't have any idea.Not another one,please.I made sure they were careful with the body,since the rest of the people were throwing packages around in forklifts and transport trucks.They put the casket through an X-ray machine.I had a chance to see the stuff they were scanning in the computer monitors, and it was chilling to see the casket being x-rayed.I saw the human shape of what was left of my dad-in-law's shell,and they x-ray guys even manipulated the machine so that you can actually see the skeleton.Though logical,rational,non-superstitious person that I am,it gave me the willies.Imagine being with a person for 30 years,the one you fell in love with,lived with,the one you laughed with,and suddenly here comes a time that you're shipping his body like regular cargo to get him buried in his family's hometown.My dad-in-law's heart gave out(3 cardiac arrests) after an operation for intestinal cancer.He was a generous,quiet,good-humored man who had a bout with alcoholism and nicotine addiction.I always turn my back or go out of the room when his wife or his sister breaks down in grief.It takes a long time before death sinks in.Now, I have to fetch my beautiful wife at the airport,just after the burial.IN MEMORYPROF.VICTOR ANTONIO TAN1947-2004A very down-to-earth and generous genius,a man with a photographic memory.Rest Well.