I wanted to do something really special for our first wedding anniversary, and now that you’re all strapped in, I can let you in on the surprise I’ve cooked up. Listen very carefully.
See, after I found out you were adopted, I hired someone to track down your birth parents. The process took months, but my guy finally came through! Turns out, your birth mom moved to Oregon and became an accountant, with a loving family and a mortgage; seems like a perfectly normal person. Your birth dad, meanwhile, never left the area, ending up an alcoholic with a violent rap sheet and a long string of failed marriages.
I tracked him down at his favorite bar today, pretended to bump into him, and got him even more drunk than usual. After we’d knocked back a few, I showed him naked photos of you, and told him it was his lucky day; I’d square his substantial bar tab if he’d come to my house tonight and fuck my wife while I watch.
He took me up on it, and he’ll be here in five minutes, baby.
I wonder if he’ll recognize a bit of himself in your eyes?