Dear you,

I haven't written in a while. A couple of days, which feels like much longer.
It's so sad to give up on you as a friend. as a lover - it's painful, but as a friend - it's sad and grey. I would have told you that for the first time i've come close to being excited about my job. i know it's only temporary but, still, the excitement is worthwhile. today i would have come to you and said: let's watch a movie. let's cook a dinner, or let's take a walk down the very same street that you and i know know so well. let's just be here under this serene evening sun, or let's go to a park and watch the ducks strut around.
i got a candlelight as a present, for having done "a good job". it feels and looks solid. i put it on my table, to remind me of gratitude that i once received. once being today. an ordinary one.