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Previous Entry No aviācijas ikdienas2. Nov 2005 @ 12:19 Next Entry

A friend of a friend, who is an airline copilot, told the following stories about a captain with whom he often flew. This guy was an excellent pilot, but not real good at making passengers feel at ease.

For example, one time the airplane in front of him blew a tire on landing, scattering chunks of rubber all over the runway. He was aked to hold while the trucks came out and cleaned up. His announcement:

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid there will be a short delay before our arrival. They've closed the airport while they clean up what's left of the last airplane that landed there.

Seems that Tom was working local with a nervous FPL watching over his shoulder. He had one air carrier jet just touching down and another on a mile final, with a commuter holding short for departure release.

"I'm going to get that commuter out between those two jets," said Tom aloud. The FPL could see that there might just *barely* enough time to make it work if nobody screwed up. But like any good instructor, the FPL wanted to let Tom make his own mistakes since that's the only way for a guy to learn. Still, the FPL couldn't help but mumble in Tom's ear "if this works, Tom, it'll be a miracle!"

Tom keys his transmitter. He intends to say "Commuter 123, taxi into position and hold, be ready for immediate." What actually comes out of his mouth (in one of the great Freudian slips of all time IMHO) is:

"Commuter 123, taxi into position and hold, be ready for a miracle."

There's a pregnant pause on frequency, and the then commuter pilot says "Tower, I think under the circumstances we better just hold short. I don't feel quite that lucky."

My favorite ATC story involves an old-timer who would get rather excited when it got busy. It seemed as if he would think up zingers at home and use 'em at some convenient moment. Anyway, he's working USA553 westbound and is about to turn him over to Cleveland...

Controller: USA353 (sic) contact Cleveland Center 135.6.

(pause)

Controller: USA353 contact Cleveland Center 135.6!

(pause)

Controller: USA353 you're just like my wife you never listen!

Pilot: Center, this is USA553, maybe if you called her by the right name you'd get a better response!

(ir doma)
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From:[info]nez
Date: 2. Novembris 2005 - 12:23
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Ļaujiet man pasmieties :)))))))))
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From:[info]x_f
Date: 2. Novembris 2005 - 12:27

Okej, okej

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(It's night over Las Vegas, information hotel is current and mooney 33W is unfamiliar and talking to approach control)

Approach: 33W confirm you have hotel.
33W: Uhhhmm, we're flying into McCarren International. Uhhhmm, we don't have a hotel room yet.

approach control was laughing too hard to respond. The next several calls went like this:

Approach: United 5, descend to FL220.
United 5: United 5 down to FL220; we don't have a hotel room either.
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From:[info]nez
Date: 2. Novembris 2005 - 12:34

Re: Okej, okej

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Es vēl joprojām smējos par iepriekšējiem, saudzē manas nieres! :)))))))
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From:[info]x_f
Date: 2. Novembris 2005 - 12:38

Ne-e!

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Leaving Palo Alto on Friday. A Citabria had just landed:

PAO: 85 Uniform, Taxi to position and hold.
Me: Position and hold, 85 Uniform.
Citabria: Umm, Tower, there's a dead seagull on the right side of the runway near the windsock.
PAO: Roger. 85 Uniform, cleared for takeoff. Watch for a dead seagull on the right side of the runway.
Me: 85 Uniform, Dead seagull traffic in sight.

A little later, the Citabria was downwind when I heard:

PAO: Citabria 123, cleared to land 30. Caution - there's a buzzard trying to eat the seagull on the runway.
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From:[info]markizs
Date: 2. Novembris 2005 - 13:23

Re: Okej, okej

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baa neiebraucu kas ir information hotel :>
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From:[info]x_f
Date: 2. Novembris 2005 - 13:32
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Āmm.. Jā, vajadzēja paskaidrot. Tas ir vienkārši burts H.
Šim tekstam vajadzēja būt iekavās pirms tā joka:
"ATIS" stands for "Automated Terminal Information Service," which is a recorded message broadcast at most busy airports around the country. ATIS gives pilots the current wind, air traffic, and runway information and each time the information changes, the broadcast is revised, with each revision being assigned the next letter in the phonetic alphabet. This designation is included in the broadcast, which is identified as, "Information Alpha..." Bravo, Charlie, etc.

At ATIS-equipped airports, pilots are required to listen to the recording prior to contacting Approach Control or the tower and must repeat the "Information so-and-so" identifier when they make their initial radio call. Sometimes, the results can be hilarious...

Aviācijā katru burtu izrunā kā vārdu, lai būtu skaidri un nepārprotami. Piemēram, Latvijas kods ir YL, ko izrunā "yankee lima". Hotel stands for H. :)
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From:[info]markizs
Date: 3. Novembris 2005 - 09:57
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he, nu burtu apziimeejumus es veel zinu, bet nu tie nespeeja ienaakt manaa praataa nezinot ka ir taada automaatiskaa informaacijas sisteema :)
aber [info]nez laikam skaidri zin visu par lidostaam :)
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From:[info]nez
Date: 4. Novembris 2005 - 23:24
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[info]nez ir pavadiijusi paaris vasaras, ar krutaako radio-raaciju pa visaadiem pie-lidostu laukiem vazaadamies un visaadas frekfrences kjerdama :DDDD
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From:[info]markizs
Date: 2. Novembris 2005 - 12:24
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labs ;)
From:[info]divi_g
Date: 2. Novembris 2005 - 12:24
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Labs :D
From:[info]mmk
Date: 2. Novembris 2005 - 13:31
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konkrēti!! šitā sen nebiju smējies.. :DDD
(ir doma)
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