lol - Komentāri

A friend of a friend, who is an airline copilot, told the following stories about a captain with whom he often flew. This guy was an excellent pilot, but not real good at making passengers feel at ease.

For example, one time the airplane in front of him blew a tire on landing, scattering chunks of rubber all over the runway. He was aked to hold while the trucks came out and cleaned up. His announcement:

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid there will be a short delay before our arrival. They've closed the airport while they clean up what's left of the last airplane that landed there.

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Seems that Tom was working local with a nervous FPL watching over his shoulder. He had one air carrier jet just touching down and another on a mile final, with a commuter holding short for departure release.

"I'm going to get that commuter out between those two jets," said Tom aloud. The FPL could see that there might just *barely* enough time to make it work if nobody screwed up. But like any good instructor, the FPL wanted to let Tom make his own mistakes since that's the only way for a guy to learn. Still, the FPL couldn't help but mumble in Tom's ear "if this works, Tom, it'll be a miracle!"

Tom keys his transmitter. He intends to say "Commuter 123, taxi into position and hold, be ready for immediate." What actually comes out of his mouth (in one of the great Freudian slips of all time IMHO) is:

"Commuter 123, taxi into position and hold, be ready for a miracle."

There's a pregnant pause on frequency, and the then commuter pilot says "Tower, I think under the circumstances we better just hold short. I don't feel quite that lucky."

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My favorite ATC story involves an old-timer who would get rather excited when it got busy. It seemed as if he would think up zingers at home and use 'em at some convenient moment. Anyway, he's working USA553 westbound and is about to turn him over to Cleveland...

Controller: USA353 (sic) contact Cleveland Center 135.6.

(pause)

Controller: USA353 contact Cleveland Center 135.6!

(pause)

Controller: USA353 you're just like my wife you never listen!

Pilot: Center, this is USA553, maybe if you called her by the right name you'd get a better response!