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Novembris 5., 2007
15:40
Twenty Questions to Ask Before You Get Married
Home
1. What percentage of our income are we prepared to spend to purchase and maintain our home on a monthly or annual basis?
2. Who is responsible for keeping our house and yard cared for and organized? Are we different in our needs for cleanliness and organization? Is one or both of us neat? Messy? A "pack rat?" An organizational wizard?
Money
3. How much money do we earn together? Now? In one year? In five years? Ten? Who is responsible for which portion? Now? In one year? Five? Ten?
4. What is our ultimate financial goal regarding annual income, and when do we anticipate achieving it? By what means, and through what efforts?
5. What are our categories of expense (rent, clothing, insurance, travel)? How much do we spend monthly, annually, in each category? How much do we want to be able to spend? Now? In one year? Five? Ten?
Work
6. How much time will each of us spend at work, and during what hours? Do we begin work early? Will we prefer to work into the evening?
7. If one of us doesn't want to work, under what circumstances, if any, would that be okay?
8. How ambitious are you? Are we comfortable with the other's level of ambition?
Sex
9. Am I comfortable giving and receiving love, sexually? In sex, does my partner feel my love for him or her?
10. Are we satisfied with the frequency of our lovemaking? How do we cope when our desire levels are unmatched? A little? A lot? For a night? A week? A month? A year? More?
Health and Food
11. Do we eat meals together? Which ones? Who is responsible for the food shopping? Who prepares the meals? Who cleans up afterward?
12. Is each of us happy with the other's approach to health? Does one have habits or tendencies that concern the other (e.g., smoking, excessive dieting, poor diet)?
Family
13. What place does the other's family play in our family life? How often do we visit or socialize together? If we have out-of-town relatives, will we ask them to visit us for extended periods? How often? For what length of time?
14. If we have children, what kind of relationship do we hope our parents will have to their grandchildren? How much time will they spend together?
Children
15. Will we have children? If so, when? How many? How important is having children to each of us?
16. How will having a child change the way we live now? Will we want or be able to take time off from work, or work a reduced schedule? For how long? In the months or years following the birth of our child, will we need to rethink who is responsible for housekeeping?
Community and Friends
17. Are we satisfied with the quality and quantity of friends we currently have? Would we like to be more involved socially? Are we overwhelmed socially, and do we need to cut back on such commitments?
18. What are my partner's needs for cultivating or maintaining friendships outside of our relationship? Is it easy for me to support those needs, or do they bother me in any way?
Spiritual Life
19. Do we share a religion? Do we belong to a church, synagogue, mosque or temple? More than one? If not, would our relationship benefit from such an affiliation?
20. Does one of us have an individual spiritual practice? Is the practice and the time devoted to it acceptable to the other? Does each partner understand and respect the other's choices?
no http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/tows_2002/tows_past_20021028_c.jhtml
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Comments:
![[User Picture]](http://klab.lv/userpic/102643/2349) | | From: | ![[info]](http://klab.lv/img/userinfo.gif) smille |
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| Date: | 5. Novembris 2007 - 15:43 |
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| | un alternatīva | (Link) |
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1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?
8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
12) What does my family do that annoys you?
13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face? |
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Sviesta Ciba |
