Viena lapa -

From: punkts Date: September 1st, 2010 - 09:16 pm (Link)

i was awaiting you
you seem to move a closet towards me as large as an elephant

ok i will try to clarify. not because i want to go into details but because it might give me some further insight.
"subjective impossibility of comfort" is a feeling that no state of comfort can last for any amount of time. this feeling is subject to modifications according to the willingness of sustaining it. but do not give to much weight to what i'm saying because for a large part i'm just fitting words i know into an abstract feeling i have. this not necessarily produces a vivid picture of a frame of mind and neither do i intend to obtain any such /*/

possible objections are of those persons who at one point or another have come into my experience and produce imaginary reactions to different angles of my thought making.

and the full price is a price which when you pay you feel that any higher an amount would be detrimental to your qualities and ability to function in a healthy and productive way.

i start to feel that i drain my ability to explain but that is maybe because i have no exercise in this regard and wear out very fast. in a way i regard you as my moderate school master. not necessarily meaning it literally but to return to above-mentioned "possible objections" image of you might serve in this direction. i really feel weary now because such an extended discourse into - what i would call a desirable path towards /*/ - is testing my limits. although i must admit that i felt a little recomposed after stopping a little during the finishing lines of this excerpt

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From: brookings Date: September 1st, 2010 - 10:50 pm (Link)

The original post was attempt at a snapshot (freeze-framed detail) of a moment, which is an impossible act, because you sit and rattle out the train of thought as you remembered it and analysed it. So you are painting or sketching, really. A real snapshot would have passers-by in the background (a flash of bag or skirt by a Narvessen: old trainers with new dog pissing by a market wall: soļanka 99 santimes, or you looking different to how thought you would).

I asked the question because one of my personalities is the schoolmaster, whose withering questions force me to spell it out to any of my personalities who happen to be listening.

I was with you in spirit up until the "full price": I do my best work when I am not functioning in a healthy and productive way: but this is just what the majority of my personalities would assume to be healthy and productive.

The contradiction (truth) is in the mix of 'I' as I see it.

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From: brookings Date: September 1st, 2010 - 10:55 pm (Link)

the bit about doing my best work when not healthy and productive is dishonest: it is a balancing act - the more weight you can hold when balancing, the more you poise and sense of yourself (necessary for balance) under pressure.

something like that, perhaps

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From: punkts Date: September 1st, 2010 - 11:11 pm (Link)

you are right about the snapshot thing. when i was reading origin of species it was a good meditation about all kinds of living beings that surround us like insects, birds and animals somewhere far away that you never even see in you life but that exist. and so it is very important to see these supposedly trivial details in the snapshot of a moment. not just lets say you want to imagine a person and what you now picture in your mind a person standing, his clothes, perhaps his mimicry, his posture etc but then there come all the surrounding... oh, i just got a call from a guy who wants to buy a lens from me. today i bought a different one with different focal lenght

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From: brookings Date: September 1st, 2010 - 11:45 pm (Link)

fair point, but about the closer inspection of the snapshot: I have memories that repeatedly arise from places (as though they are on some programmed grid), and they are not places that at first seem to have any connection with the thing that I am remembering. For example, there is a crossroads in Ventspils which every time I cross I think of my friend, Robert, smashing up his flat because he had advised the girl he loved to go off with me.

If I understand what I want to say with that, it is that something I can't place in that place is causing me to think of a memory, which in turn leads to a train of thought (and maybe a supposedly unique observation) all sparked from a certain translation of this emotional memory.

All that is fine, but if you want to communicate to somebody else some truth: well you have to ieliist into what you think they think about you and somehow fashion it in a way coherent to both: and you lose it, usually, in some aphorism or banality or over-complication, and you even start to doubt you had an idea worth communicating in the first place. But it was probably there, even if it was tortuous to explain it in a way you yourself were happy with.

Then communication (to yourself - thinking about how you are thinking) is the understanding of things forever flitting in and out of sight: analysing them akin to holding the negative of a dream up to the light.

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