When there is nothing else left for you to do about a situation, you can take those feelings of anguish and use them in a spiritual or aesthetic way maybe. This too shall pass in a windy bleak nothingness of careless universe.

All i ever wanted to do in life is suffer gracefully with a smile - so successfully that people thought that maybe I am simple.

After all - anything that 'I' want is a spiritual mistake. The correct way is always to respond to others' requirements first.

Ok, I love ocassional consciousness of 'I' and the special, magical awareness that it brings - esspecially to look upon people and love them. But sometimes I feel like it is such a horrible - cruel poison.

In advance, I apologise to whatever is God for all my poisonous selfish thoughts and actions - I didn't ask for any of this after all.