Muusu kakjis ir vissuperiigaakais kakjis ever. Mees abi esam samiileejushies liidz ausiim un nevaram nomierinaaties, cik ljoti miilam muusu kakji.

Kaut kaa nedaudz satricinaaju smadzenes. Man liekas.

Biedzot nopirku biljetes uz Riigu. Buusim pieejami no 6. taa liidz 14. decembrim, ja ir veelme iepaziities ar manu liigavaini :)

Es paarstaaju lietot shampuunu kaadus 2 vai 3 meeeneshus atpakalj, taa vietaa matus mazgaaju ar pliku uudeni. Un ziniet, kas notieka? Mati aug nereaali aatri un ir visveseliigaakie ever. Peern peec Burning Man naacaas nedeelju mazgaat un paarmazgaat ar kondicionieri, lai atmezglotu sausos kunkuljus, shogad pietika vienreiz ieliist dushaa. Iisaak sakot, metiet aaraa shampuunus.

Vakar visu dienu biju ciitiiga maajsaimnieciite - izmazgaaju velju, iztiiriiju dziivokli, pagatavoju lazanjju (ne vegaano paarmainjas peec, lai viirieti palutinaatu). Izraadaas, ja tiiriishanas procesu njem nopietni, tas aiznjem ljoti daudz laika. Mugura saapeeja ljoti ljoti, un shoriit kjermenis veel joprojaam kokains, bet, ak, cik skaisti dziivoklis izskataas! Un lazanjja arii tik garda sanaaca! Jaa, es pagarshoju, jaa, es eedu galju. Jo, manupraat, mest galju aaraa ir veel briesmiigaak nekaa eest.

Izbimbaajos taa no sirds. Ak, ja vien es zinaatu iistos vaardus, kaa paskaidrot, ko multeniite sirsninjaa pamodinaaja. Tik daudz vienlaikus.

Tipa gatavi, tipa nee, bet driiz jau atkal buusim TUR.

Nu ja. Prasiiju jaunu dziivi, prasiiju savu patiesiibu, un dziive to arii sniedz. Laiks augt.

Peedeejo meenesi sapnjos visu laiku kaadu nogalinu. Nu, netiishaam, bet kaads mirst manas riiciibas deelj. Interesanti, vai tas ir saistiits ar aizrautiigo jogoshanu, un cilveeki, kas mirst, ir staasti, kas man vairs nekalpo.

Joga katru dienu iz ze best. Nekad ieprieksh nav bijis tik stingrs kjermenis. Ar personiigo treneri bija lieliski rezultaati, bet nodarbiibas bija koncentreetaakas uz noteiktaam kjermenja daljaam. Joga kaut kaa visu kjermeni veido sievishkjiigaa formaa. Un bonusaa arii elpoju labaak un varu saost vairaak. Karoche, visiem vajag jogu.

Nu ko. H1B viizu atteica. L1B pagarinaajums tipa tiks pazinjots pirms 28. juulija. Bet neviens negrib staastiit, kas buus, ja nepagarinaas viizu.

Klikshkjiniet uz bildiites, lai noskatiities Pixar iisfilminju par vulkaaninju miilestiibinju

Nav taa, ka es sevii redzeetu baigaas paarmainjas, bez izraadaas, ka cilveecinji apkaart pamana. Liimeejas klaat visaadi skaisti viirieshi. A man panika iestaajas, es tachu nezinu, kaa vinjus atshuut.

Meenesi staigaaju uz jogu katru darba dienu un ir baigi forshi.

Nu ko, treshaa nedeelja, kad eju uz jogu katru darba dienu. Reizeem negribaas, bet taapat eju.

Varbuut man ir depresija kaut kaada. Gruuti sevi piespiest dariit lietas. Bet patiesiibaa viss ir labi tachu. Man likaas, ka depresijas nerodas no taa, ka ir labi. Es zinu, ka viss kustaas pareizajaa virzienaa un viss ir tieshi taa, kaa tam ir jaabuut, bet tik un taa kaut kaads zajobs kaut kur.

Ir manu draugu lokaa puikinjsh Alans. Vinjsh raksta runaajamaa vaarda dzeju.

Breathing

If you ever wish you didn’t forget that you were breathing.

If you have very little faith in fortune tellers, and even less in rear view mirrors,
then maybe we both just want to find people we can fart in front of,
people who don’t speak through filters like cigarettes.

And maybe we’ve both smoked only one first cigarette
and more than one “last” cigarette.
And maybe we both live in fear, the way fish live in water:
we breathe it, and we forget most of the time
that we can only move forward if we push against it.

But sometimes we remember,
and that’s why we’re here, on a coffee date,
sitting across from someone who is mostly a stranger,
but still hoping that their eyes,
or their hands or their words
will save your life, will say that they like you,
will say that they want you,
will say that we, we can’t give our hearts out whole
because we’ve both left too many pieces in too many people,
but, maybe,
we can at least each walk away with some small part of the other.

And you,
you will say nothing anyway,
knowing that one day, when you’re drinking or thinking too much,
you’ll remember this feeling
of wanting to hold someone but fearing to reach

because their eyes are one-way mirrors
and you can’t see what they see in you—
because maybe
you’ve ripped out too many pages of yourself for other people’s scrap books
and you don’t know if your spine holds together a story worth reading anymore.

I’ve tried to love someone else who was easier to love than myself,
so I know that sometimes today feels like an empty mailbox,
and you need a better reason to get out of bed than having no other choice.
Because instead of pushing silver dust our veins are just pumping this dark salty stuff
that will never see the light of day—
when we die, they’ll have us pickled, prettied up and placed on linen
before we even have a chance to stink.

But no matter how angry you are that most of this,
even most of this,
is just air,
remember that people are just waterfalls,
and we’re all falling toward the same thing.

Remember that sometimes leaves look like upsized golden confetti in sunlight
and trees stand up on their tip toes all day and all night
like toddlers trying to reach for something;
it only takes one beautiful thing
to make stepping out of your head today worth it.

So if I’ve ever watched you in a museum while you’re looking at a painting,
or if you spend less time in museums looking at paintings
than staring at the people who are looking at paintings,
you should know
that I want nothing more than to watch you step though all this empty space
and actually touch something beautiful, and hold on to it,
like it isn’t just the most obvious thing to do.

And it’s harder than it sounds. I know.
because I’ve been trying to try to
but every time I think I’ve found God, he melts on my nose like a snowflake
so I’ve been packing cold dirt in my mouth and wearing headphones
because I am too tired to talk anymore
and I can’t sleep to the sound of my own heartbeat
so sometimes it is just easier to have somebody else’s voice in my head.

But it’s amazing what silence can do.

And if you ever decide to put broken pieces back together,
I hope you at least fill the cracks in with gold.
It’s the broken places that make us beautiful,
and you should shine through them.

I’ve been throwing poems at the things that are far too far away for me to actually touch,
like you,

and keeping my eyes closed
so matter which way I walk
it always at least feels like I’m moving forward.

But, some days, I still stand still,
and rock on my rusty heels
and breathe,
letting this now take over
instead of reaching for the next one.

And you,

you are welcome to come breathe with me.

You are always welcome to breathe with me.

Sapnjoju, ka esmu staavoklii, bet tad atcereejos, ka man ir spiraale, uztaisiiju gruutnieciibas testu un izraadiijaas, ka neesmu gan. Labi, ka taa, jo nez kaapeec beerna teevs bija kaut kaads dzheks, ko tikai nedeelju deitoju.