"`tis · a · witching · time · of · night


when I stumble, hate and bite"

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Hah
dabūju Laimu kā sev tuvāko Baltu dievību. Ta jau laikam arī ir. Esmu ļoti atvērts savai sievišķajai pusei.
Current Mood:
chipper chipper
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Ā jā
pievelkoties mēnessgaismā piejūras kačalkā redzēju krītošu zvaigzni. Ievēlējos un momentā kļuva vieglāk ap sirdi un kājām. Tik liegi būt.
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Garīgums jeb spiritualitāte nav kaut kas augstāks cilvēka eksistences perspektīvā. Tā ir tik pat svarīga fakultāte tevī, cik prāts un ķermenis.
Current Mood:
awake awake
Current Music:
In Flames - Cloud Connected
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Man šeit pietrūkst mīlestības un cilvēku brīvības.
Current Mood:
sick sick
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Prāts izzina. Ķermenis izjūt. Dvēsele pieredz.
Aum.
Current Mood:
tired tired
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Current Mood:
calm calm
Current Music:
Kaskade
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Ir tie sapņi,
kuros sajūtas šķiet ļoti īstas. Kā tie, kuros, piemēram, es lidoju. Bet šonakt es sapņoju, ka Alexisonfire ir Latviešu grupa un es viņos spēlēju. Tas bija krutāk nekā lidot.
Current Mood:
indescribable indescribable
Current Music:
alexisonfire - 44. caliber love letter
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"'narcissism' is the favourite accusation of the one who is wounded - especially when it`s a deliberate, self-inflicted wound of coolness."
Current Mood:
enlightened enlightened
Current Music:
bjork
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man ir tik kruta gulta :D beidzot
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lapsenes
Pērngad man zem loga bija lapseņu pūznis, kad ievācos. Mans logs bija uz dienvidiem un jumta istaba nozīmēja slīpu jumtu. Man bija cauras sienas un man regulāri istabā līda iekšā lapsenes pa vietām, kurām man nebija ne jausmas. Kā arī caur logu spraugām. Es nevarēju sagaidīt vasaras beigas, kad viņas izvāktos un izsaucu indētāju. Man tai brīdī kad viņš sāka pūst spraugās pulveri, sametās nelāgi ap dūšu, bet bija jau par vēlu. Es pēc tam vēl vairākas dienas skatījos apdullušas lapsenes, kuras meklē savas mājas un ripo lejā pa jumtu. Man bija tik ļoti skumji. Es nezinu vai es sev esmu piedevis. Siltais laiks gan beidzās pēc pāris nedēļām. Man tā arī neviena nebija iedzēlusi. Tagad man sāk kļūt nelāgi arī sitot mušas.
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I will tell you something and I need you to tell me if it makes sense.
I stood as a mountain, breathing, eyes closed and felt the breath change and become deeper and I felt how I could breathe differently, as if through an infinite chasm within me.
I bowed down and reached for the earth and felt it surge up through my legs.
I stood up and breathed and felt no pain in my right side of the brain.
Then I opened my eyes and for a moment I felt taller than my room, almost as if floating.
The next moment I suddenly felt fear and as I breathed out and saw something, the usual pain in my right side of the brain returned and the next moment it was all just regular.
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Īpatnēji
ir atcerēties pēkšņi sajūtu par kaut kā darīšanu, ko tu zini, ka esi tikai sapņojis, un ka tāda darbība neeksistē un ir pilnīgs nonsenss.
Current Mood:
weird weird
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Patiesībā
es negribu būt tas kurš maina pasauli. Es gribu vienkārši mīlēt un būt saulē.
Bet diemžēl es esmu spiests eksistēt caur mūsdienu sociumu.
Current Music:
deadmau5
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šodien atbrauca mēbeles arī. it kā, esmu tagad iekārtojies, bet kāda tam nozīme?
kā arī - sāpes. es tagad saprotu ko nozīmē vārdi "sāpes ir tikai galvā", jo meditējot gāju caur sāpēm un elpoju tajās, un sanāk tā, ka ķermenis tikai dara savu darbu, tavs ķermeniskais tu bezpersoniski iet caur procesiem, caur kuriem tam jāiet - tas neredz sāpes. Sāpes ir tikai tas, ko tavs prāts subjektīvi translē un ja tu tos pieņem, nepretojies un ieelpo, sāpju nav.
Current Mood:
sad sad
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omg
es pēkšņi mīlu džezu!
Current Music:
Adam Ben Ezra - Always on the Run
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sirdsdauzis.
viss būs
Current Mood:
hopeful hopeful
Current Music:
Tiësto featuring Nicola Hitchcock - In My Memory
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bet tiešām
tāda plastiska ķirzakveidīgo valsts.
bet vismaz es zinu, ka mūs visus silda viena saule.
Current Mood:
blank blank
Current Music:
ārā dūdo baloži
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vispār
man Latvijā esot nemaz pēc jogas neprasijās.
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sterila drošība
es nespēju pagulēt tīrā un komfortablā gultā. kopš atbraucu, naktis esmu pavadījis cenšoties aizmigt aukstos sviedros. šonakt gulēju drēbēs uz grīdas zem sava dzeltenā pleda (jā, tā paša) un sapratu, ka viss šeit ir neīsts. viss pieņemtais dzīves process šai kultūrā varētu būt pielīdzināms komfortablai gultai. bet es atkal gulēju labi un sapņoju par iemīlēšanos. tātad viss ir kārtībā. uz grīdas. zem segas, kas man ir par mazu. drēbēs. ir daudz labāk. tik grūti šeit atrast alternatīvas.
Current Mood:
lazy lazy
Current Music:
REO speedwagon - Roll with the changes
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It was of magnificent beauty.
As if an allegorical musical about the current life that most of the humanity is governed by sang by Freddy Mercury himself who at the end jumps into a rusty chasm of violent oilfire just to better prove the point. And yet, the notion of all the people who simply watched it for its effects and did not even come close to cerebrating the point, laughing in their cars on their way back home, is unavoidably present in my mind.
The exasperated actions of those who chase the resource which is created by diminishing the life of this earth, to pursue with further greed that which they want to own and spread malice and misery with their veil of power over those who have less of it, that is what I see an allegory of. While within themselves they do in fact crave for the beauty of life as much as anybody else, but with such greed to control and own one cannot share, and without the ability to share life one is pointless, in pain and lost, so one seeks to remedy the pain by acquiring more of the same to numb the pain.
Love is what makes everything grow. The undeniable and unceasing love of the sun makes this earth alive and the sun will never ask anything in return. And everything that grows is beautiful and this beauty is recognized by anyone who cares to look. The monstrous waste of resource acquired from oil, that is supposedly so precious, during the chase after that which is beautiful, while denying the true source of this beauty and life itself - water to everyone who does not possess the power, and I do not mean strength, to take it, is what I see in this world and it is true. The abusive masculine, patriarchal nature of the western world and the oppression of the feminine, matriarchal strength and values is what is driving this civilization towards its own precipice of dead wastelands. Yet this power persists and is much more influential than any system of beliefs that offers anything real, yet even the warboy saw and recognized the true beauty and value of life the instant he saw and experienced it. And that is because there is no such thing as `systems` for anything that is real, anything that makes you understand the beauty and love of this infinite life that you have been blessed to partake.
So what to do? What to change? Stop. And listen. And experience. Reflect. For you and yourself alone, not anybody else. Think of what you are and what you do. Very simple things really. Every big change starts from small things, like each and every one of us.
Current Mood:
tired tired
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