This time she was dressed to kill. Something very fresh, I don't even know the name of collection, branch, style or whatever, but all black, oriental and uncovered shoulder... Ahhhhh.

However it isn't me she is trying to kill. Rather my feelings. First of all I don't care about clothes. It's something else I look into. Second, she sets a bar I can't overcome right now and even if I manage to make the garments and clothes out of them, then only by the end of the year proving how different my taste is thus only enlarging distance between us.

In addition to that she was wearing three pendants at the same time. One of it in a shape of a heart, which makes me wonder if it is not a gift from somebody and maybe I am looking into someone else's garden. Heart however was empty inside, just a shape. Would anybody present an empty heart? No, it rather symbolises her heart, which still has a place for somebody in it. But that's only my hope. I can't just ask. And even if she's alone I am not sure she likes me. She doesn't even think about saying goodbye as she leaves.

Moreover, color of her nails has already changed. Oh those chemical women... Can be poisonous as Gorgona.

Top of everything was a bright red coat. Red is a colour my emotions are never coloured with and my eyes never enjoy.

All that are signs that I am picking the wrong person. But signs can be wrong. And I like this person very much anyway and enjoy every moment of holding her hands in mine.

Some twenty or more years ago light switches were located on a shoulder level of a grownup man. Today they locate it on a groin level, so that kids could reach it.

Some would say, it's just a nonsense of old times. However I remember my grandma not letting me sleep on sofa that was placed in front of outlet in the wall. She said, it's bad for health. Back then, when there were no pc's and mobile phones, just bw tv sets, AM radios, irons, fridges and washing mashines. That was it.

They did not let kids reach the switches intentionally. I actually remember receiving a small electric shocks from those switches as soon, as I could reach them on my tiptoes. Child's body is somehow a much better conductor.

Today some of that philosophy still remains in a few child clinics. They say to switch off mobile phones inside the building. They however sometimes add, that this is not to damage medical equipment or disturb it's function, knowing that nobody will believe magnetic field can be a risk for a living creature.

I often go to the countryside to pick up some home made food as it has no chemicals therefore is better for health. When I get home I take it out to eat it. Then I think about my family. I'd rather give everything to them rather than staying healthy myself and watching them die of cancer, blood vessel or heart or other deseases. But they never appreciate food like that and never think about difference in food and consequences of consuming one or another product.

Sometimes I find stuff brought by me and left for them rotten, since nobody even touched it. This is when I feel, like I've lost a fight to some evil forces or so. Then I think of God and nature - a great father and mother in heaven. I imagine myself in their place and that I have a child like me - devoted and faithful. I take care about this child and give him the best that I have - best food and clean water. And what would I do if this child would give all that to somebody else who ignores me? This is the point, when I understand, that it's ok that I eat all by myself.

Only know I understood, that the electronic letters she sent me were sent to the list of recipients. And I thought she was writing me. How pathetic.

She showed me some pictures of her from the past. I noticed her hair was so different. It was long and natural color.
- "Your hair," I take a blond strand in my hand "I will never get to see them the way they were once..."
- "Do you know how hard it is to take care of long hair?" she asked a bit irritated.
- "I know what it takes, to be a strong man, but I really don't know what it takes to be a beautiful woman. Tell me."

She just gave me a look of her eyes without saying a word and turned her head away.

[izdomāts]

Meklējot piemērotu ozolzaru kokles tapām, kā arī sazāģējot no sniega smaguma kritušos kokus, pastaigājos pa mežu, sadzirdēju soļus sniegā, pagriezos, bet neredzu nevienu. Kaut arī marts, tomēr spīdēja saule un meža darbos ir patīkami bez krekla. Nolēmu pacelt un uzvilkt to, jo sapratu, ka kāds tuvojas, tad pēkšņi sadzirdēju ieroča pārlādēšanas skaņu. Pagriezos un ieraudzīju skaistu gara auguma blondīni ar medību bisi vērstu pret mani.

"Kas tu esi un ko tu te dari?" jautāja viņa. "To pašu es gribētu pajautāt Jums" atbildēju es. "Medību sabiedrība ir noslēgusi līgumu ar šīs teritorijas īpašnieku par atļauju šeit medīt, es te drīkstu atrasties" atbildēja viņa. "Jā, atceros, biju parakstījis tādu līgumu", saku es, tādējādi atklājot, kas esmu. "Skaidrs, bet kāpēc pliks, nav auksts?" viņa nolaida ieroci. "Vai tiešām izskatos tik biedējoši, ka bija jātēmē?" cenšos pārvērst to par joku. "Nē, atskaitot neķemmētos matus un Robinzona bārdu... Un vēl tā zemnīca... Izskatās pēc lāča midzeņa no ārpuses". -"Kas vainas Lāčiem?" -"Lāčiem ne vainas, bet šobrīd vajag vilku. [pauze] Ar vilkiem man ir īpašas attiecības."

- "Ko lai saka, varētu aiziet apskatīties, var gadīties, ka lāča midzenī būs ielīdis kāds vilks."

- "Tā nevar gadīties. Bet apskatīt tāpat var."

[izdomāts, turpinājums sekos]