Why should you not be?

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because it's like i'm trying to kill myself deliberately with my behaviour.

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Then apparently either that which doesn't kill you truly does make you stronger, or you simply are not trying hard enough. ;>

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well, it wasn't on purpose :)

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Maybe that's the problem - such things should be done deliberately, purposefully, with attention to detail and execution, so as to maximise the probability of success. ;D

Srsly though, kā Tev izdodas brutāli dzert un brutāli strādāt vienlaikus?

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nu, tas nav vienlaikus, tas ir secīgi :)

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